Corrected Writing

Corrected Writing

Below you will find many examples of writing in English which contain grammatical errors. These errors are highlighted in yellow so that you can spot them easily. The complete, corrected text appears underneath.

As well as reading them, why not have a go yourself at home?

Use the table below and write at least 1 - 3 paragraphs (5 sentences in each paragraph / at least 300 characters total) in an essay about any of the following topics. The first paragraph should be the introduction, then write body paragraphs where you give supporting details about your topic, and the last paragraph should be the conclusion where you summarize your ideas and give an opinion or piece of advice. This is a standard format for writing in English.

 

Descriptive

Opinion

Narrative

Process

Beginner

1.) What are some important sites to see in your home country? Give descriptions and details about the places. Include history and other interesting facts to support your ideas.

or

2.) Describe the perfect day. What happens during that day? Where do you go? What do you see? Who are you with? What do you do?

3.) Where is the best country to visit? Explain what that country has and what sites you can see there. Why is it a good place to visit?

or

4.) What is the best movie? Why is it good? Why should people see it? Who is in the movie? What happens in the movie?

 

5.) Who is your hero and why? What has that person done? Give details about that person’s life and write about why you admire that person.

or

6.) Give an introduction about yourself. Where do you work? What are your hobbies? Where are you from? Are you married, single, etc.?

 

7.) Write an essay about “how to _________”. For example, you can write a 3-paragraph essay about “how to fix a car”, “how to cook spaghetti”, or “how to dance salsa”.

Intermediate

8.) Describe the first house in which you lived. What did it look like? What did it smell like? What did it feel like? Give some specific details about the house that you remember.

or

9.) Describe a memory from your childhood. What happened? Why do you still remember it? Why is it important to you? How did you feel? What did you think?

 

10.) Is the world a better or worse place because of technology? Give reasons to support your opinions. Give examples of modern technology and how it affects humans.

or

11.) Should guns be legal? Give support to your arguments. Talk about how guns affect people and a country’s crime rates.

12.) Which was your favorite birthday or holiday? Tell a story about the past. What happened on that day? Why was it special to you? Who was involved in your special day?

or

13.) Where do you see yourself in five years? What will you be doing? Where will you live? What will your life be like? What are your goals for the future?

14.) Write a 4-paragraph essay about “how to ________”. For example, “how to learn a language”, “how to be a good person” or “how to be financially responsible”.

Advanced

15.) Explain art. What is it? What does it mean to see something artistic or to be artistic? What are the different types of art? Does everyone view art the same? Give details to support your ideas.

16.) Is war necessary? Write your opinions about wars and how they have affected humans across history. Give specific examples of war situations and provide support for your opinions.

17.) If you were somebody else, who would you be and why? What would your life be like as that other person? How would it be different from your life now? Give details about what would happen to you if you were another person.

18.) Write a 5-paragraph essay about “how to _________”. For example, “how to solve world hunger”, “how to protect the environment” or “how to stop racism”.



Beginner Writings

Original


My prefect day is goes to my last day of being diploma students. During my last day, we had the final examination. My classmates and i were so happy because on the last day of examination, our target topic is on the exam. We're so happy because we're managed to answer the question with the smile in our faces. When the examiner said times up and we can left the exam hall, we're chanting hooray! Hahaha that was the perfect day i ever through in my life.


Corrected


My prefect day was my last day of being a student. During my last day, we had the final examination. My classmates and I were so happy because on the last day of the examination, our target topic was on the exam. We were so happy because we managed to answer the question with a smile on our faces. When the examiner said "Times up!", and we could leave the exam hall, we chanted "Hooray"! Hahaha That was the most perfect day I ever had in my life.




Original


my favorite place is dream park it's the best for me there are a lot of games that make me happy and excited i have been there 4 times i went to it with my friend if you want to go you can take a bus to 6 october city and get in dream stop you can go stright and turn right
i wish to go with my sister and my little brother becouse i want to be him happy


Corrected


My favorite place is Dream Park. It's the best for me. There are a lot of games that make me happy and excited. I have been there four times. I went to it with my friend. If you want to go, you can take a bus to six October City and get on the Dream Stop. You can go straight and turn right. I wish to go with my sister and my little brother because I want him to be happy.



Original


I come from Maldives. Many tourists like to visit more than once every year.Maldives has been famous on white sandy beach and deep blue seas all around it. There are many tiny islands surrounded by sea. which also included blue lagoons and sandy beach. there are some historical places who are attracted to see it.The tranquil ambiance of the Maldives is very popular in many countries.


Corrected


I come from Maldives. Many tourists like to visit more than once every year. Maldives has been famous for white sandy beaches and deep blue seas all around it. There are many tiny islands surrounded by the sea, which also includes blue lagoons and sandy beaches. There are some historical places which are attractive to see.The tranquil ambiance of the Maldives is very popular in many countries.



Original


First day at school
In my country, first day of September start schools. I am happy to go to school. I can see my old friends. I can find new friends. my new teacher is very kind and beautiful. She teaches us math, science, sport and etc.
I don't like math, but my father says math is very important in life. I love to learn English as second language but it is very hard for me.
Your site is very useful. I try to learn En. but my confidence is very low. I worried when I want to write or speak. your aids are very useful for me.

thanks a lot
Mau

 

Corrected


In my country, the first day of September is when schools start. I am happy to go to school. I can see my old friends. I can find new friends. My new teacher is very kind and beautiful. She teaches us math, science, sports, etc.

I don't like math, but my father says math is very important in life. I love to learn English as a second language but it is very hard for me.

Your site is very useful. I try to learn English, but my confidence is very low. I am worried when I want to write or speak. Your aids are very useful for me.




Original


I see Carlos Paz. It is a important place in Cordoba, Argentina.
It is a moder city. There are a lake, a clock cucu,theaters.
A lot of turist visit this place and love it. '
The city has beatiful streets, and big molls, and schools where go the children.
In the night the turist like to go to the restorant , cinema ,theater, and pubs.

Corrected


I see Carlos Paz. It is an important place in Cordoba, Argentina. It is a modern city. There is a lake, a clock tower, and theatres. A lot of tourists visit this place and love it. The city has beautiful streets, big malls, and school where children go. In the night, the toursits like to go to the restaurants, cinemas, theaters, and pubs.



Original


This was my perfect day because I was very happy. 
This day I travelled to Alta Gracia and I could buy my first car.
I have with my mother and I select a yellow Dodge 1500, and I paid one part.
After days I was going to look for my car, and I went back to my house.
I went every day to my work, and I travelled a lot of beautiful places with my car. I sold my firt car after 10 years.

Corrected


This was my perfect day because I was very happy. This day I travelled to Alta Gracia and I bought my first car. I lived with my mother and I selected a yellow Dodge 1500, and I paid one part. I searched for my car for many days, and after I found it, I finally went back to my home. I went every day to my work, and I travelled a lot of beautiful places with my car. I sold my first car after 10 years.



Original


I'm from dr and the most beautifully cities of my country are those close to the oceans, their white sand beaches give to those cities the possibilities for the constructions of enormous hotels resorts, that brings to the country a large varieties of tourist from all over the word, generandous enormous entries of goodies to the country, in the other side the others cities with less entries of tourism, you can see that those do not have the same movement of progress in the level economic, to those cities growing economically is much more slowly that the others closest to the oceans.

Corrected


I'm from the Dominican Republic and the most beautiful cities of my country are those close to the oceans. Their white sand beaches give to those cities the possibilities for the construction of enormous hotel resorts, which bring to the country a large variety of tourists from all over the world. They also bring generous entries of goodies to the country. On the other side, the other cities with less entries of tourism grow much more slowly economically than the others closer to the ocean.



Original


Do you know which 3D cartoon movie is popular in winter in 2013 at the cinema? It's "Frozen". This film is mostly for children but adults can watch it.
It's a funny and adventure film. It takes about an hour and fourty nine minutes to watch. The directors of this film are Jennifer Lee and Chris Buck. The movie is about a girl named Anna who had an older sister, Elsa. Elsa had a frozen power. She froze the kingdom before she became a queen. She left the kingdom and moved to a cold moutain. Anna had to find her for returning the summer for the kingdom. On the way, she meet Kristoff, an ice deliverer, with his reindeer and a funny snowman called Olaf. He's made by Elsa. They wanted to help Anna so they followed her to find her sister. They had a happy trip together.
In Vietnam, the movie appears in the cinema on 13th December 2013. Now you don't have to go to cinema to watch film, you can watch it on Youtube.
Frozen has begun the best 3D cartoon movie in 2013. That's why I love this movie. You should watch this.

Corrected


Do you know which 3D cartoon movie was popular in winter in 2013 at the cinema? It was "Frozen". This film is mostly for children but adults can watch it.

It's a funny and adventurous film. It takes about an hour and fourty nine minutes to watch. The directors of this film are Jennifer Lee and Chris Buck. The movie is about a girl named Anna who had an older sister, Elsa. Elsa had a power to freeze things. She froze the kingdom before she became a queen. She left the kingdom and moved to a cold mountain. Anna had to find her to help her return the summer to the kingdom. On the way, she met Kristoff, an ice deliverer, with his reindeer and a funny snowman called Olaf. He's made by Elsa. They wanted to help Anna so they followed her to find her sister. They had a happy trip together.

In Vietnam, the movie appeared in the cinema on 13th December 2013. Now you don't have to go to cinema to watch film, you can watch it on Youtube.

Frozen has become the best 3D cartoon movie in 2013. That's why I love this movie. You should watch this.



Original


It happend last spring. My friend called and told me that our favourite musical band was going to visit our town with concert. That new shocked me. In a moment I felt myself happy. I went to ask my parents for permission and they were agree to let me to go to the concert. I remember that night like yesterday. There were thousand of bright lights, crowded place and my favourite singers.I had been dancing and jumping all the night. It was the best day in my life.

Corrected


It happened last spring. My friend called and told me that our favorite musical band was going to visit our town to perform a concert. That news shocked me. In a moment I felt happy. I went to ask my parents for permission and they agreed to let me to go to the concert. I remember that night like yesterday. There were thousands of bright lights, it was a crowded place and my favorite singers were there. I had been dancing and jumping all the night. It was the best day in my life.



Original


My perfect days were the 3 days in April last year when my husband and I visited Singapore. That's a amazing beautiful modern country. 

We arrived in Changi airport which is the best world international airport at 12 am. We suprised about everything in the airport. It's huge, very clean, convenient. It has a board walk that helps people move faster when they feel tired, some attractive places to visit like butterfiles garden, orchid garden, koi pool..., home cinema theater to watch movie for waiting time on board, and many stores for shopping with free tax. If you have baby, you can borrow the the stroller for him to go arround the airport without tired. We moved down to the basement, bought the ezlink ticket and took the mrt to our hostel. Mrt is a public convenient transportation with cheap price. We checked in hostel at 3pm, had a quick lunch with sandwiches, sausages and milk. Around 4pm we visited IKEA, the famous furniture store and bought some gifts for my son. After that, we were back to the Chinatown to enjoy the special dinner with chilli crab which cost 60 usd singapore, rather expensive but yummy. And we walked around the Clake Quay station to see people, pub bar. It was crowded, funny. We were back to hostel at 10pm, took a bath and went to sleep, finished the first day in Singapore.

Corrected


My perfect days were the 3 days in April last year when my husband and I visited Singapore. That's an amazing, beautiful, modern country. 

We arrived in Changi airport, which is the best world international airport at 12 am. We were surprised about everything in the airport. It's huge, very clean, and convenient. It has a board walk that helps people move faster when they feel tired, some attractive places to visit like butterfiles garden, orchid garden, koi pool..., home cinema theater to watch movie for waiting time on board, and many stores for shopping with free tax. If you have a baby, you can borrow the the stroller for him to go around the airport without being tired. We moved down to the basement, bought the EZLink ticket and took the MRT to our hostel. The MRT is a public convenient transportation with cheap price. We checked in hostel at 3pm, had a quick lunch with sandwiches, sausages and milk. Around 4pm we visited IKEA, the famous furniture store and bought some gifts for my son. After that, we were back to the Chinatown to enjoy the special dinner with chili crab which cost 60 USD in Singapore. It was rather expensive but yummy. And we walked around the Clake Quay station to see people at a pub. It was crowded and funny. We went back to hostel at 10pm, took a bath and went to sleep, finishing the first day in Singapore.



Original


my 26 th birthday was most important birthday for me because it was celebrated with my baby nd siju ettan.he had given me a suprise birthday party on that day night.he bought me a cake and gold ring.i was really enjoed my 26th birthday.oh i forgot one important thing i had cut the cake and also i made sweet payasam.

Corrected


My 26th birthday was the most important birthday for me because it was celebrated with my baby, Siju Ettan. He had given me a surprised birthday party on that night. He bought me a cake and a gold ring. I really enjoyed my 26th birthday. Oh, I forgot one important thing, I had to cut the cake and also I made a sweet payasam.



Original


I would to be chelsea islan. She is actress from Indonesia. She 20 years old but she has many dreams. On the first time as actress she became idol within 1 months. I'm a fans of chelsea islan. I want to be her because she is very inspiring people. She can make sure other people that dream can we get very easily if we do it with positive thinking and grateful. If you are have passion improve your passion, don't be scare about threat, rival, environment or anythings. Invested in your hear YOU CAN DO IT. Sometimes difficult but something like that you can achieve bigger. You must to have a target, if you can achieve 1 target so you can achieve other target that more difficult than before. She always said that to many people if people talk to her. She can be a motivator i think. See how's interesting she is. Sometimes need money to do what our passion but if you can achive more by money why not. If you very talented in other fields you can be you want by scholarship. She would be producer, film writer, film director, education minister And she want to help children in the world. So many dreams she has, she doesn't give up, always positive thinking, smart, reliable. She can dance, sing, so many talent she has. I hope i can be chelsea islan. I must to have her spirit because i very different with her. But because her i know more how to appreciate Jesus that give all people talent to improve by myself.

Corrected


I want to be Chelsea Islan. She is an actress from Indonesia. She is 20 years old but she has many dreams. The first time as an actress, she became an idol within one month. I'm a fan of Chelsea Islan. I want to be her because she is very inspiring. She can make sure other people can achieve their dreams easily if we do it with positive thinking and gratefulness. If you have passion, improve your passion, don't be scared of threats, rivals, the environment or anything. Invest in your heart: YOU CAN DO IT. Sometimes it will be difficult, but something like that you can achieve bigger. You must have a target. If you can achieve one target, you can achieve another target that is more difficult than before. She always said that too many people talk to her. She can be a motivator, I think. See how interesting she is? Sometimes we need money to do our passion, but if you can achieve more by money, then why not? If you very talented in other fields, you can be what you want by getting a scholarship. She is a producer, film writer, film director, education minister and she wants to help children in the world. So many dreams she has, she doesn't give up, she always has positive thinking, is smart, and reliable. She can dance, sing, and she has so many talents. I hope I can be Chelsea Islan. I must have her spirit because I'm very different from her. But because of her, I know more how to appreciate Jesus that gives all people talent to improve ourselves.



Original


My country is full of many interesting
places to visit.The most important thing that recognize my country is history.It has places for thousands of years like the pyramids,temples and very old mosques.These places are recognized by there wonderful paintings and designs that are very incredible.Visiting these places remind me of the past,how they are work very hard and study well in all fields. 
Pyramids and temples not only amazing because of their designs and building,but also because their walls are full of old people life style like how they farm their land and how they used to cure their patients.I think we should visit these places to know how these old people make their culture and start to work and do our best to achieve progress better that the did.

Corrected


My country is full of many interesting places to visit. The most important thing that is recognized in my country is history. It has places for thousands of years like the pyramids, temples and very old mosques. These places are recognized by their wonderful paintings and designs that are very incredible. Visiting these places reminds me of the past, how they worked very hard and studied well in all fields. 

Pyramids and temples not only are amazing because of their designs and building, but also because their walls are full of ancient people's lifestyles like how they farmed their land and how they used to cure their patients. I think we should visit these places to know how these ancient people made their culture and start to work and do our best to achieve progress better that they did.



Original


My hero is emperor Tewodros he is an Ethiopian leader and the first men to fight slavery and colonialism in Africa in the 18th century. he came from a poor family. he tried to unite Ethiopia when she was ruling under regional governments. he was not educated but he reads and write Ethiopian language Amharic. he did to bring change in his people backward culture and introduce western civilization to Ethiopia.

Corrected


My hero is emperor Tewodros. He was an Ethiopian leader and the first men to fight slavery and colonialism in Africa in the 18th century. He came from a poor family. He tried to unite Ethiopia when he was ruling under regional governments. He was not educated but he read and wrote Ethiopian language Amharic. He wanted to bring change to his people's backward culture and introduce western civilization to Ethiopia.



Original


In my opinion the best movie ever is 2001 a space odissey by Stanley Kubrick. It's about a huge elipse of human and technical evolution. For me this movie captures the meaning of life, and it gets more clear at the final part, witch is emotional, lyric and meaningless. The meaningless is where the movie touches me. In a world with so much comunication and people speaking without meaning anything... I think this is the meaning of life, because it makes me think about the porpouse of what we do and the sense behind everything. Tho, I think everyone should wacth it to experience a visual self-reflection.

Corrected


In my opinion, the best movie ever is 2001: A Space Odyssey by Stanley Kubrick. It's about a huge eclipse of human and technical evolution. For me, this movie captures the meaning of life, and it gets clearer at the final part, which is emotional, lyrical and meaningless. The meaninglessness is where the movie touches me. In a world with so much communication and people speaking without meaning anything... I think this is the meaning of life, because it makes me think about the purpose of what we do and the sense behind everything. Though, I think everyone should watch it to experience a visual self-reflection.



Original


my country is sri lanka & there having most butifull places to see.Peradeniya gardenDalada maligawa & also sigiriya is the most important plaeces to saw the our culture.Colombo is our main city & now it's become as very butifull plaece.also waterfalls,mountants like pithuruthalagala & big langales we can seen in our cuntry area as my knowlwdge i thnk sri lanka is the most butiful palece to live

Corrected


My country is Sri Lanka and we have the most beautiful places to see. Peradeniya Garden, Dalada Maligawa, and also Sigiriya are the most important places to see our culture. Colombo is our main city and now it's become a beautiful place. Also, we have waterfalls and mountains like Pithuruthalagala and Big Langales that can be seen in our country. In my opinion, I think Sri Lanka is the most beautiful place to live.



Original


My dad name is Long. he is fourty one years old. he has a spiky hair. His skin tanned. He is tall and strong. He is a business man. he is punctual and hardworking. Everyday, my dad goes to work from the morming to the afternoon. At weekend, he stays at home and plays with me and my brother. I am very proud of my dad and i will working hard to please my dad.

Corrected


My dad's name is Long. He is 41 years old. He has spiky hair. His skin is tanned. He is tall and strong. He is a businessman. He is punctual and hardworking. Everyday, my dad goes to work from the morning to the afternoon. On the weekend, he stays at home and plays with my brother and me. I am very proud of my dad and I will work hard to please my dad.



Original


"I would like to be another person!", this is a wish, a hope for everybody, something that seems to be impossible but has the power to motivate us. The wish to be someone else comes when when we have problems or we want to change something which can be about us or others.
Firstly, people in general use to dream on a better life, something that they do not have, as money, cars, houses or vacations. We use to compare our life with healthy people, who worked for their money and we see in them an example, a top that we want to reach in one day. This life, which seems to be perfect from outside, it is totally sick inside, because money does not mean happiness, they have the power to make us happy but only for a few moments, that is what I call "fake happiness".
Secondly, we see in others an example. Sometimes, people want to be reach in order to help someone else. We see wars, murders, people who die because of hungry, babies who do not have milk, their source of food, or are abandoned by their parents, this all bad things make other people to think about how is to have the power to change this human disses.
On the other hand, to in someone else skin it does not mean to be the right choice. These rich people, or famous, use to faight against the people who want to disturb their intimity. It is not "perfect" to be always fallowed by someone else who want to know everything about you, about your private life. 
All in all, I think that being someone else has great and bad parts. With aspecs, mentioned on top, I think that the right thing is to be you,find yourself in things that inspire you, something that can defenites you and you will can change the whole world.

Corrected


"I would like to be another person!", this is a wish, a hope for everybody, something that seems to be impossible but has the power to motivate us. The wish to be someone else comes when we have problems or we want to change something, which can be about us or others.

Firstly, people in general dream of a better life, something that they do not have, like money, cars, houses or vacations. We compare our lives with healthy people, who worked for their money and we see in them as an example, a top that we want to reach one day. This life, which seems to be perfect from the outside. It is totally sick inside, because money does not mean happiness. They have the power to make us happy but only for a few moments. That is what I call "fake happiness".

Secondly, we see in others an example. Sometimes, people want to be rich in order to help someone else. We see wars, murders, people who die because of hunger, babies who do not have milk, a source of food, or are abandoned by their parents, all these bad things make other people think about how important it is to have the power to change this human disses.

On the other hand, being in someone else's skin is not the right choice. These rich or famous people fight against the people who want to disturb their intimacy. It is not "perfect" to be always followed by someone else who wants to know everything about you and your private life. 

All in all, I think that being someone else has great and bad parts. With these aspects, mentioned above, I think that the right thing is to be you. Find yourself in things that inspire you, something that can define you and you will can change the whole world.



Original


My name is kanishka.I brought and grown up in dalhousie The place is in District chamba, himachal pradesh.Himachal pradesh is also known as Dev bhumi because lots of god and goddeses are worshiped by people.people of himachal are very innocent,they help everyone who visited there.They believe the title 'athithi devo bhav'.I like the place very much.It gives me so many sanskars in me to built up as a genuine personality.
my hobbies are playing badminton reading books and ofcourse cooking. I heared in my youth time that cooking is the best remidy when ever you feel alone or distubed start cooking. This thought stick in my mind so i like cooking the most.I like to do make-up,this is my best timepass activity.I like to read motivational books as well as devotional or sometime cartoon books also.I enjoyed my childhood days a lot because I had so many friends and we all play in the evening when we completed our homework.our teachers in school are very strict and we affraid them a lot.
I am married in punjab but I do not like the place as compare to himachal.Even I Do not enjoying here,I miss my old days very badly.If I get some wings to fly,I will go there.

Corrected


My name is Kanishka. I was born and grew up in Dalhousie. The place is in District Chamba, Himachal Pradesh. Himachal Pradesh is also known as Dev Bhumi because lots of gods and goddesses are worshiped by people there. People of Himachal are very innocent. They help everyone who visit there. They believe the title 'athithi devo bhav'. I like the place very much. It gives me so many sanskars in me to built up as a genuine personality.

My hobbies are playing badminton reading books and, of course, cooking. I heard in my youth time that cooking is the best remedy whenever you feel alone or disturbed. This thought stuck in my mind so I like cooking the most. I like to do make-up. This is my best pastime activity. I like to read motivational books as well as devotional or sometime cartoon books, also. I enjoyed my childhood days a lot because I had so many friends and we all played in the evening when we completed our homework. Our teachers in school were very strict and we were afraid of them a lot.

I got married in Punjab, but I do not like the place as compared to Himachal. Because I don't enjoy it here, I miss my old days very badly. If I get some wings to fly, I would go there.



Original


"Hero always saves the day." I think hero isn't neccessary to save the day, hero just need to be a good person and always help everyone when someone needs.Do you know who is my hero? It's my mother. She is the best person I ever have.
Why do I choose mom? Because she's smart, kind and love me so much. If I have any problem, mom will find the way to solve that problem, although it is difficult. When someone is sick, they just want to do nothing and relax. That is opposite with mom. When she is sick, she still kepp doing office work, housework and teach me English. Many people can't have that "super power" like mom.
Mom is very polite to everyone, even a kid. She is cheerful when she meet someone. When someone's situation is bad , she feels very sorry for that person. When someone has happy news, she congratulates. What a nice woman!
She also love the animals and she has taught me "Animals are people, they just can't think as smart as the people. Don't kill them!"
Mom is small and fat. She has a short black hair with black eyes. She's about 30 years old. Mom is a staff in a Japan company.
When mom was young, she was very poor. She had to live far from my grandparents when she was 2 years old because my grandparents were very busy.
Mom and I had many memmories. My best memmory is when I was sick, mom was the one who took care of me. She worried very much about me. I thanked her very much when she looked after me until I felt good again.
I love her so much.

Corrected


"Heroes always save the day." I think heroes aren't necessary to save the day. Heroes just need to be a good person and always help everyone when someone needs it. Do you know who is my hero? It's my mother. She is the best person I have ever known.

Why do I choose mom? I choose her because she's smart, kind and loves me so much. If I have any problem, mom will find the way to solve that problem, although it is difficult. When someone is sick, they just want to do nothing and relax. That is opposite with mom. When she is sick, she still keeps doing office work, housework and teach me English. Many people can't have that "superpower" like mom.

Mom is very polite to everyone, even a kid. She is cheerful when she meets someone. When someone's situation is bad , she feels very sorry for that person. When someone has happy news, she congratulates them. What a nice woman!
She also loves the animals and she has taught me "Animals are people, they just can't think as smart as the people. Don't kill them!"

Mom is small and fat. She has short black hair with black eyes. She's about 30 years old. Mom is a worker in a Japanese company.
When mom was young, she was very poor. She had to live far from my grandparents when she was 2 years old because my grandparents were very busy.

Mom and I have many memories. My best memory is when I was sick, mom was the one who took care of me. She worried very much about me. I thanked her very much when she looked after me until I felt good again.
I love her so much.



Original


My perfect day is when I am with my Family in delicious lunch. Find my cousins, grandmother, grandfather, uncle…, it is so amazing! We eat barbecue, rice, fruits and ice cream. We drink soda and fruit juice. The children also go to pool and play in back yard. Also we dance and sing some songs. We can talk about and smile together.

Corrected


My perfect day was when I was with my family at a delicious lunch. There were my cousins, grandmother, grandfather, uncle…, it was so amazing! We ate barbecue, rice, fruits and ice cream. We drank soda and fruit juice. The children also went to pool and played in back yard. Also we danced and sang some songs. We talked and smiled together.



Original


We can help the environment in so many ways. Here are some ways to help save the environment. One way that we can help the environment is, to stop pollution. Pollution is why so many animals in the sea and on land are dying because of pollution. Sea animals like, Whales, Sharks, fish, etc. are dying because of oil spills in the water causing water pollution killing the sea animals. We can stop water pollution by, building stronger ships holding the oil they are shipping around the world so they can stop spilling. Pollution for land animals such as, Deer, Bears, foxes, etc. are dying because of land pollution. Since factories and big buildings have been built, it's gas and smoke coming out of those tubes have been hard for land animals to breathe and live in a place like that. Also, cutting down the trees is taking away the habitat the animals live in which is making them die easily. I say, it is time to save the environment for those poor animals before it is to late!

Corrected


We can help the environment in so many ways. Here are some ways to help save the environment. One way that we can help the environment is to stop pollution. Pollution is why so many animals in the sea and on land are dying. Sea animals like, whales, sharks, fish, etc. are dying because of oil spills in the water causing water pollution killing the sea animals. We can stop water pollution by building stronger ships holding the oil they are shipping around the world so they can stop spilling. Pollution for land animals such as, deer, bears, foxes, etc. are dying because of land pollution. Since factories and big buildings have been built, their gases and smoke coming out of those smoke stacks have been hard for land animals to breathe and live in a place like that. Also, cutting down the trees is taking away the habitat the animals live in which is making them die easily. I say, it is time to save the environment for those poor animals before it is too late!



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My first house,a house its not just a four walls and one roof its a place where each any every person connected with strong bond of emotions,respect.a place where which reminds my grand parents efforts to build this house ,there efforts to provide a better shield of values to there children and to the next generation.

My first house is small but we never felt the limitations in my house.I remember my childhood it was unforgettable.

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A house is not just four walls and one roof. It's a place where each and every person connects with a strong bond of emotions and respect. It's a place, which reminds me of my grandparents' efforts to build the house and their efforts to provide a better shield of values for their children and for the next generation. My first house was small, but we never felt the limitations in my house. I remember my childhood. It was unforgettable.



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Today I need to prepare my skill to take examination of IELTS. This is the first time I attend to this English test.There are a lot of concern how can I get highest score, and which subject do I need to study first. What is the best thing should I start with writing and what is the worse thing I should avoid. Also in reading skill, this is not my strong point. Understanding of English meaning it does not mean that we fully understand what they are asking for. Some time the topic discussion of reading it is the idea of writer and he or her some time did not fully understand of the concept or the truly define the topic. For example the "Coherence" it has 16 different of meaning and in particular of transmission that is different with the normal people use it. English reading is level of your knowledge and your skill also your English level. The more education and the more experiences you have the more and the fast better you could read. My conclusion learning English is the lif e your decision and your target, if you need to be better position and make your life easier in future of communication you must take it as plan and very seriously. Come back to my topic, IELTS or TOEFL is the level of understanding English. I should take this examination to check my level of using other langue than my mother langue.

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Today, I need to prepare my skills to take the IELTS examination. This is the first time I attend this English test. There are a lot of concerns about how I can get the highest score and which subject I need to study first. What is the best thing I should start with and what is the worst thing I should avoid. Also, my reading skill is not my strong point. Understanding English meaning does not mean that I fully understand what they are asking for. Sometimes, the topic of reading is difficult to understand and is not clearly defined. For example, the word “coherence” means many different things and I have to discover how normal people use it. Your English reading ability demonstrates your level of English in general. The more education and the more experiences you have, the more and the faster you can read. In conclusion, if learning English is your target, you need to practice a lot and take it very seriously in order to gain a better position in your life. Coming back to my topic of IELTS, this test helps you understand your level of English. I should take this examination to check my level of using another language than my mother tongue.



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If I were somebody else who would I be? It's an interesting question. I believe that every person is unique and everybody has their own mission in this world. If I had a chance to chose whome to be I would chose myself. However, I would improve all my skills. I think that the beauty of our world is the difference betwwen people, animals, plants. We all should be different. There areno perfect people or perfect creatures on our planete and it is the reason of mistery. If I exist I have some target in this world. The most important thing iin the life of every person is to find your aim. To cut it shortly, if I had a chance to be somebody else I would chose myself but this person would exactly know what she wants.

Corrected


If I were somebody else who would I be? It's an interesting question. I believe that every person is unique and everybody has their own mission in this world. If I had a chance to chose whom to be I would chose myself. However, I would improve all my skills. I think that the beauty of our world is the difference between people, animals, plants. We all should be different. There are no perfect people or perfect creatures on our planet and that is the reason of mystery. If I exist I have some target in this world. The most important thing in the life of every person is to find your aim. To put it shortly, if I had a chance to be somebody else I would chose myself but this person would exactly know what she wants.



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last Sunday, the weather was sunny and windy. That was a perfect day to go outside to enjoy the nature. I and my family went to Vung Tau beach by car. Before that day, my family were busy to prepare: my father was washing his car while mom was frying chicken for the trip. I and my sister prepared clothes and stuff to go.
On Sunday morning, we waked up early in the morning, when the sun haven't riseyet. The trip was so long. It took us about two hours to get there. The beach is so beautiful.

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Last Sunday, the weather was sunny and windy. That was a perfect day to go outside to enjoy nature. My family and I went to Vung Tau beach by car. Before that day, my family was busy preparing: my father was washing his car while mom was frying chicken for the trip. My sister and I prepared clothes and stuff to go.

On Sunday morning, we woke up early in the morning, when the sun hadn't risen yet. The trip was so long. It took us about two hours to get there. The beach is so beautiful.



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When i was a child,many things happened.My mother told that i say a little.In my school,my teacher felt worried.My mother tried to teach me in her style by the game with the cards.After a few week,i was the first kid in the class can say all the alphabelts.My teacher was vert glad,she smile with me and chosen me to teach the class how to say alphabelt.I still missed this because i was loved my mother and my teacher,i dont wanted to make them sad.My successfull proven that anybody can be good even they were very bad if they have somebody help them and if they try.i was very happy because many kids in class sayed that i am intelligent,they wanted to play with me especially the girls in class.Now i dont played with them.But i know that it was very lucky if you haved teach and helped by somebody

Corrected


When I was a child, many things happened. My mother said that I spoke very little. In my school, my teacher felt worried. My mother tried to teach me in her style by the game with the cards. After a few weeks, I was the first kid in the class who could say all the alphabet. My teacher was very glad. She smiled at me and chose me to teach the class how to say the alphabet. I still miss this because I loved my mother and my teacher. I didn't want to make them sad. My success proves that anybody can be good if they have somebody helping them and they try hard, even if they were bad before. I was very happy because many kids in the class said that I was intelligent. They wanted to play with me, especially the girls in class. Now, I don't play with them. But I know that it was very luck that I had a teacher to help me.



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1.Eatmoderation
Eat plenty of fruits and vegetables
Fruits and vegetables are low in calories, fiber and contain large amounts of vitamins and minerals. The fiber and antioxidants in it help prevent heart disease. Eat fresh produce can help you no in a long period of time and avoid having you will eat unhealthy snacks.

Corrected


Eat plenty of fruits and vegetables. Fruits and vegetables are low in calories, fiber and contain large amounts of vitamins and minerals. The fiber and antioxidants in them help prevent heart disease. Eating fresh produce can help you in a long period of time and help you reduce eating unhealthy snacks.



Original


If I can travel abroad, I will go to USA because I want to visit Disneyland, Mount Rushmore National Memmorial and Statue of Liberty.
Disneyland is in Los Angeles. At there, I can meet Mickey mouse. Mickey mouse is a famous character. I like it because it's funny. I can also meet Donald duck, Pluto dog, Mini mouse,... I always dream about going to Mickey's house so I will surely go there. I think its house is beautiful and big. At night, Disneyland will display firework in festivals. I will go to Disney gallary to watch the pictures and writings about Disney characters. I like to play railroad because it's so fast just like a rocket. I can ride the boat on a pond in the park.
Next, Mount Rushmore National Memmorial is a colossal statues with Geoge Washinton, Thomas Jefferson, Abraham Lincoln and Theodore Roosevelt. It is in colorado state, near Keystone town. These statues are host to almost three million visitors in a year from across the country and around the world. Also, Mount Rushmore National Memmorial is bold of president faces. Therefore I want to go there.
Last, I want to go to New York city to see the Statue of Liberty. It is one of the collosal statues in America. Visitors buy ticket, so they can enter the statue to the crown of the statue to watch the city. Also, it is taller than 3,000 feet high.
I love to travel to USA and go to those places. If I can really go to America, I will even travel more places in USA.

Corrected


If I can travel abroad, I will go to the USA because I want to visit Disneyland, Mount Rushmore National Memorial and the Statue of Liberty.
Disneyland is in Los Angeles. There, I can meet Mickey Mouse. Mickey Mouse is a famous character. I like his because he's funny. I can also meet Donald Duck, Pluto, Minnie Mouse,... I always dream about going to Mickey's house so I will surely go there. I think his house is beautiful and big. At night, Disneyland will display fireworks in festivals. I will go to a Disney gallery to watch the pictures and writings about Disney characters. I can ride a boat on a pond in the park.
Next, Mount Rushmore National Memorial are colossal statues with George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Abraham Lincoln and Theodore Roosevelt. It is in South Dakota, near Keystone town. These statues are host to almost three million visitors in a year from across the country and around the world. Also, Mount Rushmore National Memorial is a bold representation of presidents' faces. Therefore I want to go there.
Last, I want to go to New York City to see the Statue of Liberty. It is one of the collosal statues in America. Visitors buy tickets, so they can enter the statue to the crown of the statue to watch the city. Also, it is taller than 3,000 feet high.
I would love to travel to the USA and go to those places. If I can really go to America, I will travel to even more places.



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I'm a Taiwanese,Taiwan is a very young and beauty island,Night market is the most important site in my country,you can see it everywhere.

Night market is the most important site in Taiwan,There are lots of delicious food and interesting game at there.but night market always has a lot of people,so you will very hard to walk.

Night market is very important for Taiwanese,everyone love it,if you come to Taiwan don't forget to go to night market.

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I'm a Taiwanese, Taiwan is a very young and beautiful island, The night market is the most important site in my country, You can see it everywhere.

The night market is the most important site in Taiwan, There are lots of delicious foods and interesting games there. But the night market always has a lot of people, So, it will be very hard to walk.

The night market is very important for Taiwanese. Everyone loves it. If you come to Taiwan don't forget to go to the night market.



Original


My hero is my mom. She is my everything, she always beside me, she always help me in every condition, she always give me reason why she loves me, sometimes makes me cry, but i cry not in front of her, she defend me when i bullied by my friends, she is a strong woman, she wakes up at 4 o'clock, she having my uncle bath, cook for my family, give my uncle eat, wake me, boil water for me, sometimes go to traditional market at 5 o'clock, sometimes i angry with her because always helping neighbor to buy somethings, i angry because heavy things she buy. But i can't say NOT because she loves helping someone.

Corrected


My hero is my mom. She is my everything. She is always beside me, she always helps me in every condition, and she always gives me reasons why she loves me. Sometimes she makes me cry, but I don't cry in front of her. She defends me when I am bullied by my friends. She is a strong woman. She wakes up at 4:00 AM. She gives my uncle a bath, cooks for my family, feeds my uncle, wakes me, boils water for me, and sometimes goes to the traditional market at 5:00 AM. Sometimes I get angry with her because she is always helping our neighbors buy some things. I get angry because she buys heavy things. But I can't say no because she loves helping someone.



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everyday millions of people star a new day with different rutines, some of the people get late for work or classes just because some of them do not clean the room.

when i wake up i see my room very disorganized and my first reaccion is take what i need and get out of my room. sometimes is good just to make a stop of your rutine and star to fix all your clothes, clean the floor, trout out all the stuff you do not need and that is how you can have a better rutine.

the importance of fix your room is alot because that help you to star better your day, better rutine, better life, everyday make a stop fix your room and you will see a better life.

Corrected


Every day, millions of people start a new day with different routines. Some of the people are late for work or classes just because some of them do not clean their rooms.

When I wake up, I see my room very disorganized and my first reaction is take what I need and get out of my room. Sometimes, it is good just to make a stop of your routine and start to fix all your clothes, clean the floor and trout out all the stuff you do no need. That is how you can have a better routine.

It is very important to fix your room because that helps you to start your day better, have a better routine and a better life. Every day, make a stop to fix your room and you will see a better life.



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I'm 27 years old currently living in NC USA I was born and raise in Venezuela in south america, I moved to the USA when I was 17 years old I've been working in the restaurant business since I was 17 I'm a General Manager for a fast casual concept with more than 300 stores all over USA, I've been in a relationship for almost two years and we are currently looking for a place to move together next year when she graduate from college

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I'm 27 years old and currently living in North Carolina, USA. I was born and raised in Venezuela, South America. I moved to the USA when I was 17 years old. I've been working in the restaurant business since I was 17. I'm a General Manager at a fast, casual restaurant with more than 300 stores all over the USA. I've been in a relationship for almost two years and we are currently looking for a place to move in together next year when she graduates from college.



Original


In my country there are lots of incredible places and sites has to see.
First:- Tajmahal:- The Tajmahal is situated in agra at the bank of kaveri river.The Tajmahal was made by Shajaha who was the Mughal Empire. Basically Tajmahal is tomb. Shajaha made it on the memories of his beloved wife Mumtajmahal. Tajmahal is called symbol of love. Through the Tajmahal Shajaha showed his true love for his wife. Tajmahal is made by white granite. It took 20 yrs for making. And more then 10,000 labor was actively involved in its preparation

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In my country, there are lots of incredible places and sites to see. The most important site is the Taj Mahal.

The Tajmahal is situated in Agra at the bank of the Kaveri river. The Taj Mahal was made by Shajaha who lived during the Mughal Empire. Basically, the Taj Mahal is a tomb. Shajaha made it in memory of his beloved wife, Mumtajmahal. The Taj Mahal is called a symbol of love. Through the Taj Mahal, Shajaha showed his true love for his wife. The Taj Mahal is made of white granite. It took 20 yrs. to make, and more than 10,000 laborers were actively involved in its preparation.



Original


There is a big stone in my home country.In fact is the thirth bigest stone in the planet.The first one is in Africa.The second one is in Brazil and the thirth one is in Guatape,Antiquia.
Is very nice to climb up on the stone and take a look to de townsand the lake arround.I recomend to visit the Guatape stone. I am shure you will love it

Corrected


There is a big stone in my home country. In fact, it is the third biggest stone one the plalnet. The first one is in Africa. The second one is in Brazil and the third one is in Guatape, Antiquia. It is very nice to climb up on the stone and take a look at the town and the lake around. I recommend visiting the Guatape stone. I am sure you will love it.



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Trang Quynh is a good comic book for everyone, especially children to read. The goal is teaching young people do the right things. Quynh is the main character is very kind and intelligent. It makes everyone happy, as well as teaching more life lessons so it's good book for reading. First of all, the book has more short stories so people won't feel bored and tired when reading. Additionally, you will find more lessons about behaving with other people on your own and can apply to your life. Finally, this comic book is rather simple and lively, not too complex so you will be relaxed and comfortable when reading. You can learn and relaxed from this comic book. I read it everyday, and do you like it ?

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Trang Quynh is a good comic book for everyone to read, especially children. The goal is teaching young people to do the right things. Quynh is the main character and is very kind and intelligent. It makes everyone happy, as well as teaches many life lessons, so it's a good book for reading. First of all, the book has many short stories so people won't feel bored and tired when reading. Additionally, you will find many lessons about behaving with other people on your own and can apply them to your life. Finally, this comic book is rather simple and lively, not too complex so you will be relaxed and comfortable when reading. You can learn and relax from this comic book. I read it every day, and I hope you will like it, too.



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In five years i see myself as a event company owner because i love organizing events and have worked formany diffferent event companies, i know the in and out of that business.so in five years will be a sucessful event company owner As a teen have always seen myself driving a audi living in bedford view with my two beautiful kids and husband,hapily maried.l will be a queen and sucessful 2020 will be the sucessful business woman around africa wanna shine and travel the world

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In five years, I see myself as an event company owner because I love organizing events and have worked for many different event companies. I know the ins and outs of that business. So, in five years, I will be a successful event company owner. As a teen, I always saw myself driving an Audi and living in Bedford. I imagined myself with two beautiful kids and happily married to a husband. I will be a queen and successful in 2020. I will be the successful business woman around Africa. I want to shine and travel the world.



Original


War is very dangerous but sometimes it's be very important . In my opinion these war is used to defense the nation and protect peoples of occupation forces .No one denies it has affected a human and it had led to break down a society and destruction a lot of people's life . I wish peoples would stop fight and world lives in peace .

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        War is very dangerous, but sometimes it's very important. In my opinion, these wars are used to defend the nation and protect people of occupational forces. No one denies it has affected humans and it has led to a breakdown of society and destruction of a lot of people's lives. I wish people would stop fighting and the world would live in peace.



Original


I'd prefer English movie . the best movie in my view called "Just Like Heaven" . That's not English but it's Spain movie. It's very exciting for me . people should be see that movie because it's a nice and too romantic movie . it was show strong relationship between loves . it has got osscar . it's block buster movie . in the end i would see another romantic movie at the same stander of this movie nearly .

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I prefer English movies. The best movie in my view is called "Just Like Heaven". That's not in English, but it's a Spanish movie. It's very exciting for me. People should see that movie because it's a nice and very romantic movie. It shows a strong relationship between lovers. It won an Oscar. It's a blockbuster movie. In the end, I would see another romantic movie at nearly the same standard as this movie.



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Just like any other person lived on earth but each one with a unique way of living Douglas Adams was one of the people who inspired me most. He was born in one of the remote areas of the country, raised by a single parent went attended primary school at a community school ,his mother dead when he was 17. He dropped out of school to look for a job to meet his daily needs. He started a small business which with time grew, he raised money to pay for school .He graduated as a lawyer from the university of Zambia. Despite all the hardship he faced in his life he still raised above them and made a difference in life.

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Just like any other person who lived on earth in a unique way of living, Douglas Adams was one of the people who inspired me most. He was born in one of the remote areas of the country, raised by a single parent. He attended a public primary school and his mother died when he was 17. He dropped out of school to look for a job to meet his daily needs. He started a small business, which with time, grew. He raised money to pay for school. He graduated as a lawyer from the University of Zambia. Despite all the hardships he faced in his life, he still rose above them and made a difference in life.



Original


how to cook spaghetti
first we have to gather all the ingredients needed for recipes.And then boil the water and cook the spaghetti while it comes little softer

secondly garnish the onion and all other ingredients with oil,and prepare the sauce parts

after prepared the sauce then mix with cooked spaghetti with sauce and serve with fresh bay leaves.

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First, we have to gather all the ingredients needed for the recipe. Then, boil the water and cook the spaghetti while it becomes a little softer. Next, garnish the onion and all other ingredients with oil and prepare the sauce. After preparing the sauce, mix the cooked spaghetti with the sauce and serve it with fresh bay leaves.



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Mijo, you have better choices in this life. That were the words tha my father told me when i used to be realated to a gang. I was always fighting with others gangs members and getting in trouble evry day 
At school.one day he wanted to talk to me about life the risk we have doing bad Thing aot of law he told me that i was not like them that he was so sad seeing his champion fighing.those words made Me left that gang i was part of and start Doing good at school,now i am a welder i have a good job i have a beautifull my Doughter she is my world my wife that i love. And those that supost were my friend most of them are in jail, Part of them dead because of the gang, Thats way i call my father my hero. Because he had the courage to talk to me  And told me alot good and bad about life He will be always my hero my brother
He is the best father to me.

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Mijo, you have better choices in this life. Those were the words that my father told me when I used to be involved in a gang. I was always fighting with other gang members and getting in trouble every day at school. One day, he wanted to talk to me about life and the risk of doing bad things breaking the law. He told me that I was not like them and that he was so sad to see his champion fighting. Those words made me leave that gang I was a part of and start doing well in school. Now, I am a welder. I have a good job and a beautiful wife and daughter who are my world. Most of those people who were supposed to be my friends are in jail. Some of them are dead because of the gang. That's why I call my father my hero. He had the courage to talk to me and told me a lot of good and bad things about life. He will always be my hero. He is the best father to me.



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My cauntry is Italy,It is beatyfuul
I love it,My cauntry is rich history and culture,this can see in more cities,and more places.My cauntry is very good for vacation,and the food is delicion. 

Tooday my douther and I have been

to dawntaun,was nice day,we have mede 
shopping then we eat in italian restorant and we were lake shore walking.tooday for we was very nice.

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My country is Italy. It is beautiful. I love it. My country has rich history and culture. A person can see this in many cities and many places. My country is very good for vacation and the food is delicious. Today, my daughter and I went downtown. It was a nice day. We went shopping, then we ate at an Italian restaurant. We went walking by the lakeshore. For us, it was very nice.



Original


The perfect day
In my openion the perfect day depend's on several conditions.
The first condition is the time and the weather,a suny day and a raining day my trace different effect in our mind.
The second condition is the people that we spend our time with them.
Funny people will make funny day and sad people will leave sad effect in our mind.

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In my opinion, the perfect day depends on several conditions. The first condition is the time and the weather. A sunny day and a rainy day may trace different effects in our minds. The second condition is the people what we spend our time with. Funny people will make a funny day and sad people will leave a sad effect in our minds.



Original


An intersting place in my country, will be a excelent beach, call Playa El Tunco. Wich is in La Libertad is not so far fron the city, San San salvador. It only take like 20 or 25 minutes to get there. There are a lot of turist fron every coutry, most of them are from Canada or USA. There is a big rock with a form of a pig, I know, its crazy, butif you have imagination you will see the pig, when i go there i love some place call; Monkey lala, its very hippie trend place, there is a poll where you can swim and there is open to walk in the beach, very private.

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An interesting place in my country is an excellent beach called Playa El Tunco. It is in La Libertad, which is not far from the city San Salvador. It only takes 20 or 25 minutes to get there. There are a lot of tourists from every country. Most of them are from Canada or the USA. There is a big rock with the form of a pig. I know, it's crazy, but if you have an imagination, you will see the pig. When I got there, I love a place called Monkey Lala. It's very hippy and trendy. There is a pool where you can swim and it is open to walk to the beach. It is also very private.



Original


Cooking pasta is my specialty and, I love to try different kind with different sauces but, my favorite is spaghetti.

I always use the best brand of spaghetti. I use a big pot because all my family love it. I cook the spaghetti according the box instructions.

My spaghetti are ready after 15 minutes boiling, I strained it, place an another bawl, add butter and parmesan cheese, and ready to be served.

Corrected


Cooking pasta is my specialty and I love to try different kinds with different sauces, but my favorite is spaghetti. I always use the best brand of spaghetti. I use a big pot because all of my family loves it. I cook the spaghetti according to the box instructions. My spaghetti is ready after boiling for 15 minutes. I strain it, place it in another bowl, add butter and parmesan cheese, and it is ready to be served.



Original


my first house was small, yet only was to me, it look like old very old previously this place was a monastery thence there are a lot of rooms.
but i was like this place because when lived alone i was have more pirvacity and that is very important for the study. there is more concentration, without distraction, to be more responsable and a lot of things more.

Corrected


My first house was small, even though I lived alone. It looked very old. Previously, this place was a monastery, so there were a lot of rooms. I liked this place because, when I lived alone, I had more privacy and that is important for studying. There was more concentration, no distractions and I was able to be more responsible and do a lot of things.



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Hello. My name is Mohigul. I am from Uzbekistan. I came in United States about six years ago with my parents. In 2010 I got married. I have 2 boys now. My first son start to go to the school. It's very different for him now. America is the free country. I am very happy and very enjoy this country. But, sometime I want to go back to my country because my all relatives are there. My grandmother also lives in Uzbekistan.

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Hello. My name is Mohigul. I am from Uzbekistan. I came to the United States about six years ago with my parents. In 2010, I got married. I have two boys now. My first son started to go to school. It's very different for him now. American is a free country. I am very happy and really enjoy this country. But, sometimes I want to go back to my country because all my relatives are there. My grandmother also lives in Uzbekistan.



Original



Culture is one of country characteristic. Many countries in the world have different culture. In Indonesia, there are many culture that happens in society caused by ethnic diversity in Indonesia. Indonesia have some ethnic. These ethnic is Jawa, Sunda ,Dayak, Ambon, Madura, Melayu, Batak, Betawi and more ethnic.
The most popular ethnic in indonesia is Jawa. Because Indonesia's population are most common on the island of Java. There are many tribal cultures that developed in Java, especially the most unique is the etiquette or grammar. in the Java ethnic, when someone speaking with other one must use etiquitte. 
When someone speak someone else, he should be able to distinguish the manners to talk to older people. for example, the word 'you' in the grammar of Java there are several levels. Starting from the bottom is koe, sampean, and panjenengan. The word 'koe' is used for the pronoun you in younger people or usually used in informal contexts. The word 'sampean' is used in a younger person in an official context. While the word 'Penjenengan' is used in the elderly or in people who are respected in the formal context.
Culture grammar in Java rate is different on grammar in general, but it indicates the teaching of manners or courtesy in speaking with people so as to create an environment of mutual respect.



Corrected


    Culture is one characteristic of a country. Many countries in the world have different cultures. In Indonesia, there are many cultures that happen in society caused by ethnic diversity in Indonesia. Indonesia has some ethnicities. These ethnicities are Jawa, Sunda, Dayak, Ambon, Madura, Melayu, Batak, Betawi and more.

    The most popular ethnicity in Indonesia is Jawa. Indonesia's largest population is on the island of Java. There are many tribal cultures that have developed in Java. The most unique aspect of their culture is etiquette and grammar. In the Java ethnicity, when someone speaks with another person, one must use etiquette. When someone speaks with someone else, he/she should be able to distinguish the manners to talk to older people. For example, the word "you" in the grammar of Java has several levels. Starting from the bottom, they are koe, sampean, and panjenengan. The word "koe" is used for the pronoun "you" by younger people or usually used in informal contexts. The word "sampean" is used by a younger person in an official context. While the word "penjenengan" is used by the elderly or by people who are respected in the formal context.

    Cultural grammar in Java is different from grammar in general, but it indicates the teaching of manners or courtesy in speaking with people so as to create an environment of mutual respect.



Original


It was a sunny day. The sun was shinning brightly and there was no windy at all. The natural atmosphere was very tranquil and peaceful.
My family was got ready to go a picnic near by island. They gathered ranges of food items and other useful material which we needed on the event.
we all went to the harbor by a pickup and immediately got in the speed boat.After traveled one and half hour we reached the picnic island safely. 
The Island was very good looking and the ambiance in the island was attractive with greenish trees. Many species of birds were chirping and school of fishes were moving from hither and thither in the fish pond. I was astonished and shocked of the perfectness of the island.
we had stayed the Island for five days. we had lot of fun each other and also everyday evening we all had gone to the beach to play beach volley ball. After that we had swam in the swinmpool.

Corrected


    It was a sunny day. The sun was shining brightly and there was no wind at all. The natural atmosphere was very tranquil and peaceful.

    My family was getting ready to go to a picnic on a nearby island. They gathered ranges of food items and other useful materials, which we needed at the event. We all went to the harbor by a pickup and immediately got in the speedboat. After we traveled one and half hours, we reached the picnic island safely.

    The island was very good look and the ambiance on the island was attractive with greenish trees. Many species of birds were chirping and schools of fish were moving from hither and thither in the fishpond. I was astonished and shocked by the perfection of the island.

    We had stayed on the island for five days. We had a lot of fun with each other and also, every evening, we all went to the beach to play beach volleyball. After that, we swam in the swimming pool.



Original


I come from Maldives. Maldives is famous on tourist destination in the world. there are few important sites in capital city known as Male to attract tourists, such as republic square, national musician, art gallery.
Republic square is a place which is located in front of police headquarter and defense headquarter. At evening many people always goes to the republic square with their children to entertain and get fresh natural air.The main harbor is also located near to the republican square.There is a very big national flag taken in that place as well in order to show that our country is an independence country.
national musician is place to protect historical items. there are many historical items are preserved and kept to display the tourists. 
Art gallery is a place which preserve historical drawings and books and display people who wants to get information from them.
many tourist attract those place to visit an get information

Corrected


    I come from Maldives. Maldives is a famous tourist destination in the world. There are a few important sites in the capital city, known as Male, to attract tourists, such as the Republic Square, the National Museum, and the art gallery.

    The Republic Square is a place, which is located in front of the police headquarters and the defense headquarters. In the evening, many people always go to the Republic Square with their children for entertainment and to get fresh, natural air. The main harbor is also located near the Republic Square. There is a very big, national flag located in that place as well in order to show that our country is an independent country.

    The National Museum is a place to protect historical items. There are many historical items that are preserved and kept on display for the tourists.

    The art gallery is a place, which preserves historical drawings and books and gives people interesting information about them.

    Many tourists are attracted to those places to visit and get information.



Original


I knew on my husband since 1990. We have lived on the same street, in our country. We had in relationship for 2 years, then he came in USA. 
We are meeting on network Facebook and we reconnected our relation.
Then he came in Bucharest, we spend together few days.
We were in love since high school.
In April 2013 we went in Barcelona in vacation.
In June, I gave visa and I came in USA, for 6 months.
My husband is handsome man, carefully with me, non-violent and we hope to have a child, because this things would be all for us.
I love he and I'm so happy with my husband.
I ensure our relation is really
I want to work. I'm looking for a job. I filled some application and I will have an interview, on Friday, 16.
I hope now the things will be favorable and we not will have any problems.

Corrected


    I have known my husband since 1990. We lived on the same street in our country. We had a relationship for two years, then he came to the USA. We reconnected our relationship through Facebook. Then, he came to Bucharest and we spent a few days together.

    We have been in love since high school. In April, 2013, we went to Barcelona on vacation. In June, I got a visa and I came to the USA for six months. My husband is a handsome man, careful with me, non-violent and we hope to have a child, because these things would be great for us.

    I love him and I’m so happy with my husband. I am sure our relationship is real. I want to work. I’m looking for a job. I filled out some applications and I will have an interview on Friday, the 16th. I hope now things will be favorable and we will not have any problems.



Original


I am Mirela. I have 40 and live in Miami, USA. I was born in Romania. Mother's name is Liliana and father's name is Nicolae.
I live in USA from March, 2014. Emil is my husband. Emil and I get married in September, 5. Now we will have a immigration interview and I am scared because I don't speak fluency English.
I try to learn English myself, but I need communication. In January I started one Course's English at Broward School. I am going to school every day from 5 to 9pm. I will try to learn English for I can go to the work. I need some money for my health, for my poverty.
I was teacher in my country. I not earned much money, but I had more professional's satisfaction. I like to work with children. I have a son. He is 10 years old. Now, my son is living in our country, Romania, together his father, former my husband.
I hope you try to help me with my English. All the best.

Corrected


    I am Mirela. I am 40 and live in Miami, FL. I was born in Romania. My mother.s name is Liliana and my father.s name is Nicolae.

    I have lived in the USA since March, 2014. Emil is my husband. Emil and I got married on September 5th. Soon we will have an immigration interview and I am scared because I don.t speak fluent English.

    I am trying to learn English by myself, but I need communication. In January, I started one English course at Broward School. I go to school every day from 5 to 9pm. I will try to learn English so I can go to work. I need some money for my health and living expenses. I was a teacher in my country. I didn.t earn much money, but I had more professional satisfaction. I like to work with children. I have a son. He is 10 years old. now, my son is living in our country, Romania, with his father, my former husband.

    I hope you try to help me with my English. All the best.



Original


When I was child, I lived with my parent and I felt happy with them. In that time, I had many memories ith many friends and relative, especially with my father when we played "Chocobo Racing" together.
It's the period of time when I got my biethday. My father had bought a PS1 and gave me. After party, we opened the presents and came as a surprise, it is a electronic machine I have dreamed. We prepared carefully everything and connect it to TV so that we could play advantageously. Everything seem to be alright, we started the game to find the winner.
I still remember the happy face of my father when he played with me. It seems as if he were a child; no thinking, no worring about anything, he is unaffected so that my mother get angry with his childishness. He is all that I have, the good father as well as wonderful husband.
It is surprisingly easy for people to become adults, but it is pretty hard to keep a child-like heart that just enjoys life. That part of him made him a admirable father. If one day I have to go far from my family, I wish someones spend time and please play "Chocobo Racing" with him.

Corrected


     When I was a child, I lived with my parents and I felt happy with them. In that time, I had many memories with many friends and relatives, especially with my father when we played “Chocobo Racing” together.

     I was the period of time when I had my birthday. My father had bought a PS1 and gave it to me. After the party, we opened the presents and then he gave me a surprise. It was an electronic machine I had dreamed about. We prepared carefully everything and connected it to the TV so that we could play advantageously. Everything seemed to be alright. We started the game to find the winner. I still remember the happy face of my father when he played with me. It seemed as if he were a child; no thinking, no worrying about anything.  He was unaffected so that my mother got angry with his childishness. He is all that I have. He is a good father as well as a wonderful husband.

     It is surprisingly easy for people to become adults, but it is pretty hard to keep a child-like heart that just enjoys life. That part of him made him an admirable father.



Original


This is a really interesting statement, also lets people to think deeply. Children should play sports only for fun, and they don.t need to attend competitions. Nowadays, I would like to agree this statement. I will list some reasons for others who keep the opposite attitude.
The primary of causes is that sports are doing more exercise than the competition. Most children spend their free time to do some exercise for fun, not really want to do competitions. The exercise is going to make them healthy and release their body from study. in a word, the competitions is not necessary. Most children want to focus on the main study or some other interesting things. If their put too much energy on sports, it would not help them to study. Also, it may make them not pay attention on the class.
In additions, the competition is making children to be more aggressive. We know that any kind of sports has conflict. Especially for children, they don't have too much self-control; they will make a lot of troubles. As my own experience, When i was young, my classmate were fighting with other class student on the basketball competition. The reasons was that my classmate had no intention to throw the ball, and it fell down and strike on other student.s face. Everyone was really tired on the game, so he cannot control himself and fought with my classmate. This lovely game was end by that.
Furthermore, if children want to do competition, they will need to spend a lot of time on it. As the high school of my country that only a few student are going to be a athlete; They have to work really hard for it. But in the general, children will pay more attention on the study. I remember the teacher told me that a good health is forefoot of anything. To do exercise is only part of your life; don't be too seriously and become the competition. It would take much long time on it.
In the end, I suggest that children are going to try many different sports. It not only for fun, but also it make children more health.

Corrected


    Children should play sports only for fun, and they don’t need to attend competitions. Nowadays, I would like to agree with this statement. I will list some reasons for others who keep the opposite attitude.
    The primary cause is that sports require more exercise than competitions. Most children spend their free time doing some exercise for fun, not really wanting to do competitions. Exercise is going to make them healthy and release their body from studying. In a word, competitions are not necessary. Most children want to focus on their studies or some other interesting things. If they put too much energy in sports, it would not help them to study. Also, it may make them not pay attention in class. In addition, competition makes children more aggressive. We know that any kind of sport has conflict. Especially for children, they don’t have too much self-control; they will have lots of troubles. In my own experience, when I was young, my classmate was fighting with another classmate in a basketball competition. The reason was that my classmate had no intention to throw the ball, and it fell down and struck the other student’s face. Everyone was really tired in the game, so he could not control himself and fought with my classmate. This lovely game ended by that.
    Furthermore, if children want to do competitions, they will need to spend a lot of time on it. In my country’s high schools, only a few students are athletes and they have to work really hard at it. But in general, children will pay more attention to studying. I remember my teacher told me that good health is more important than anything. Doing exercise is only part of your life; don’t be too serious and become overwhelmed by competition.
    In the end, I suggest that children try many different sports. It is not only for fun, but also it makes children healthier.



Original


Someone said that students are more interested in politics today than they were in the past. Many people will think that students still like a child, they do not really care about the polices. Only students whose major relate on polity may give more attention on it. In my opinion, it is true that there are many students interested in politics. I will list some reasons as follows.
One of the primary causes is that politics, nowadays, are more open that past. For example, in China, the polity is getting more open. Many citizens really care about how is the country is going to change, such as foods, clothes and gasoline. In the past, many things is privacy, even though the news was not aloud to publish polices. It seems like a interesting thing or topic for the student to discuss on the daily life. 
Furthermore, politics relate on the student.s daily life. The education deeply affect the future of students. What kind of the education the student will get is the most hot topic among students. They know that polices is changing there life, the more education they get, the more good future they will have. it is a realistic story in my country. Many students cared about that many children really want to study, but their parents don't have enough money to support them. The locate government published a new politics that any students whose family really can not support get free to go to the school. It makes students really happy, because the polity is strong and to change a lot of thing. That things make students more care about politics.
In addition, students are going to grow up, the need to face a lot of problem in the future. To get a job when they graduate from the college. Many countries have problem is that many students is extremely to find a job. Students are getting more attention to how is this problem to get solved. It is not really hard to find the information. We have internet, everything is going to more convenience. Some student may want to getting marry, so they are more care about the marry age.
In a word, politics is really important for the country.The future belong to students. They also knew that. So the student is getting more interested in politics for their future.

Corrected


    Someone said that students are more interested in politics today than they were in the past. Many people will think that students are still like children. They do not really care about politics. Only students whose major relates to politics may give more attention to it. In my opinion, many students are interested in politics. I will list some reasons as follows.
    One of the primary causes is that politics, nowadays, are more open than in the past. For example, in China, politics are becoming more open. Many citizens really care about how the country is going to change, such as in foods, clothes and gasoline. In the past, many things were private, even though the news was not allowed to publish politics. It seems like an interesting thing or topic for the student to discuss in daily life.
    Furthermore, politics relate to the student’s daily life. The education deeply affects the future of students. What kind of education the student will get is the hottest topic among students. They know that politics are changing their lives. The more education they get, the better future they will have. It is a realistic story in my country. Many students care about many children really wanting to study, but their parents don’t’ have enough money to support them. The local government published a new policy that any student whose family cannot support them gets to receive free schooling. It makes students really happy, because the policy is strong and will change a lot of things. Those things make students care more about politics.
    In addition, students are going to grow up. They will face a lot of problems in the future such as getting a job when they graduate from college. Many countries have the problem which is students having a hard time finding a job. Students are paying more attention to how is this problem to get solved. It is not really hard to find the information. We have the internet. Everything is going to be more convenient. However, some students may want to get married, so they care more about marriage.
    In a word, politics are really important for the country. The future belongs to students. They also know that. So, students are becoming more interested in politics for their future.



Original


China is an enormous country with long histories. Many building and landscapes are worth for visiting. If a foreign visitor only had one day to see our country, I would strongly recommend that BeiJing, the capital of China, is the representative of our country. I am going to list some reasons as follows. 
One of the primary causes is that BeiJing has many old remains from long history, such as TianAnMen Square and Forbidden City are typical. While you visit those place, you cannot imagine that there are from least a hundred of years, and set on here with imposing. Even though they are only a part of China, they still will make you respectful. 
Beijing is same as other capital cities, many things come from other cities. It makes Beijing seems like a small country, because there is much different culture of other cities combine together. Obviously, you can have plenty of things to play except going to other places. You can have many delicious foods, beautiful traditional clothes at Beijing. 
In addition, the Chinese most famous of the world is foods. Complex process and experts will let you know that the food is not only for people eat, but also is an art. For example, Beijing duck is the food come from old history of China. As far as I know, a Beijing Duck needs least 20 of relishes before it cooks. The time and expert processes reappear the original teste from the history. It seems like a legacy that you can really teste it. 
In a word, China is a huge unity country. Actually, there are many cities you are worth to visit. If you had more time, i would like to tell you more about this legendary country. 
(any suggest would help me get high score on toefl, i would like to work hard for it !)

Corrected


    China is an enormous country with a long history. Many buildings and landscapes are worth visiting. If a foreign visitor only had one day to see our country, I would strongly recommend that he/she visit Beijing, the capital of China. I am going to list some reasons as follows.
    One of the primary causes is that Beijing has many old remains from a long history, such as TianAnMen Square and the Forbidden City. While you visit those places, you cannot imagine that they are from at least hundreds of years ago. Even though they are only a part of China, they still will make you respectful.
    Beijing is the same as other capital cities; many things come from other cities. It makes Beijing seem like a small country, because there are many different cultures from other cities combined together. Obviously, you can have plenty of things to do except going to other places. You can have many delicious foods and beautiful traditional clothes at Beijing.
    In addition, the most famous Chinese aspect in the world is food. A complex process and experts will let you know that the food is not only for people to eat, but also it is an art. For example, Beijing duck is the food that comes from the old history of China. As far as I know, a Beijing duck needs at least 20 relishes before it cooks. With time and expert processes, the original taste will reappear. It seems like a legacy that you can really taste it.
    In a word, China is a huge and united country. Actually, there are many cities that are worth visiting. If you had more time, I would like to tell you more about this legendary country.



Original


Progress is the natural law. Our live depended on progress. Everything is going to better and more convenient. As my consideration, Progress is really important for the people. There are some reasons will list as follows
One of the primary causes is that the economy needs progress to moving forward. Any new products and services need to create. If not, everything will stand still, the customers would not have many things to choose. Without progress, the supermarket will be blander for many people. 
Moreover, progress is the only way to improve our health live. Such as the hospitals, the health care departments, require to progress for new technology and medicine to support people get the safety antidote. The further progress we make, the more people we can save. 
Furthermore, progress is change people standard live. The mobile phone, computer and some other advanced technology bring conveniences to us. It changes our work more efficient, more easily contact with your friends, and faster get information or news. So progress makes everything better and better. 
In a ward, Progress is a natural state. Everything would not evolve without it. As long as people are live in the earth, the progress would always keep moving forward. 

Corrected


    Progress is the natural law. Our lives depend on progress. Everything is going to be better and more convenient. In my opinion, progress is really important for people. I will list some reasons.
    One of the primary causes is that the economy needs progress to move forward. New products and services need to be created. If not, everything would stand still and customers would not have many things to choose. Without progress, the supermarket would be blander for people.
    Moreover, progress is the only way to improve our health. Hospitals and health departments require progress to develop new technology and new medicines to provide people with safe antidotes. The more progress we make, the more people we can save.
    Furthermore, progress is changing people’s standard of living. The mobile phone, computer and some other advanced technologies bring convenience to us. It makes our work more efficient, it is easier to contact friends and it is faster to get information or news. So, progress makes everything better and better.
    In a word, progress is a natural state. Everything would not evolve without it. As long as people live on the earth, progress will always keep moving forward.



Original


My favorite holiday is 31 May 2014. Because it the first day i went to Australia alone and the first time for me. I felt excited . And when i'm here in Australia . I felt good and excited . Everything when you seen the first time it's so cool. I had seen different place,different people and different culture. I lived in NSW far from sydney around 30 minutes by ferry. It's near the beach . everyday when my school finished i had to walk to the beach with my friends. It's very beautiful

Corrected


My favorite holiday is May 31st, 2014, because it was the first time I went to Australia, and I was alone. I felt excited, and when I’m there in Austraila, I felt good. Everything is cool when you see it for the first time. I had seen different laces, different people, and different cultures. I lived in NSW, far from Sydney, around 30 minutes by ferry. It’s near the beach. Every day when my school finished, I walked to the beach with my friends. It’s very beautiful.



Original


My childhood:I was a very poor child,but it was beautiful because i had a big family,Mom and Dad they work very hard to gave as something to eat and to put on as.We wore 11 brothers and sisters we never had pop or tropical fruits we had a big garden full of trees,grapes,lot of vegetables,we had a form and just like dad we had and learn haw we have to deal with our life

Corrected


In my childhood, I was a very poor child, but my life was beautiful because I had a big family. My mom and dad worked very hard to give us something to eat and clothes to wear. There were 11 children in my family. We never had pop or tropical fruits. We had a big garden full of trees, grapes, and lots of vegetables. We had a farm. Just like my dad, we had to learn how to deal with our life.


Original


My home country India.The name shows very smart.Here Bangalore and Mysore are very good place.Mysore is famous for palace,dam,Garden and very comfirtabal tolive.Bangalore is also garden city and famous for I.T.SO many companies come here to work and give works to youngesters. For visiting purphose Dhely our capital is famous for Gate way of India.

Corrected


My home country is India. The name means “very smart”. Here, Bangalore and Mysore are very good places. Mysore is famous for its palace, dam, garden and it is very comfortable to live in. Bangalore is also a garden city and is famous for I.T.SO. Many companies come here to work and give jobs to youngsters. For visiting purposes, Delhi, our capital, is famous for the Gateway of India. I hope you can visit Indian someday.



Original


In my opinion, the best kind of a movie is fiction. I have seen many movies in my life. One of them is Iron Man 3. I going to see Iron Maintomorrownight.

Corrected


In my opinion, the best kind of movie is fiction. I have seen many movies in my life. One of them was Iron Man 3. I am going to see Iron Man 4 tomorrow night.



Original


Antarctica was discovered in 1820, this was claim of many groups, who claims themselves were the first group that achieved and found Antarctica. 
The first of all was a Russian group. It is noted that geographical of the shore of Antarctica was unknown until 19th century. Vilchz, officer of the USA navy, was properly claimed that Antarctica is a new continent. He was tried to sail Antarctica Sea along 1839 to 1843 but he wasn't successful.

Corrected


Antarctica was discovered in 1820. Many groups claimed to be the first ground to discover and found Antarctica. The first of all groups was a Russian group. It is noted that the geography of the shore of Antarctica was unknown until the 19th century. Vilchz, an officer of the U.S. navy, properly claimed that Antarctica was a new continent. He tried to sail along the Antarctic Sea from 1839 to 1843, but he wasn’t successful.



Original


My name is Aung Min Swe.I am 23 years old.I am male.I live in Union of public of Myanmar.My native town is Yangon.I graduated from a university .I would like to become a doctor.But I could not be .Now I'm working at a company.In which I work as a clerk.

Corrected


My name is Aung Min Swe. I am 23 years old. I am male. I live in the Republic of the Union of Myanmar. My native town is Yangon. I graduated from a university. I would like to become a doctor, but I cannot because I am working in a company as a clerk.



Original


THE TOPIC THAT I HAVE TO EXPLANE IS WAR AND ITS AFFECT ON HUMANS CAUSE OF WAR . WAR IS NOT NECESSORY BECause it spread un prosperity also mind peace creat lots of disturbince it also influnce economy and agriculture also alot of annocent were die in fast there were so many war were faught but it cause totally lose to both side. war is not the to solve all the problems some time it is more important to sit and talk on issues and get the possible solution for the problem.

Corrected


The topic that I have to explain is war and its effect on humans.

    War is not necessary because it destroys prosperity and peace of mind. It creates lots of disturbances and it influences the economy and agriculture. Also, a lot of innocent people die fast. There have been so many wars, but they cause total loss to both sides. War is not the solution to all the problems. Sometimes, it is more important to sit and talk about issues and get the possible solution for the problem.



Original


Hi my name is sikandar farman khan i am 22 year old i am a student at engeenering university atr abbotabad and studing telecom engeenering.i belong to swat pakistan and my home town is wainay swat.i like to play football cricket i also like to watch historical movies and listen classic music i love to learn new thing and to explore the nature and enjoyaing to learn english language.i am single

Corrected


Hi. My name is Sikandar Farman Khan. I am 22 years old and I am single. I am a student at an engineering university in Abbotabad and I am studying telecommunications engineering. I belong to Swat Pakistan and my hometown is Wainay Swat. I like to play football and cricket. I also like to watch historical movies and listen to classical music. I love to learn new things and to explore nature. I enjoy learning English.



Original


There is Eiffel tower in Paris, in the Mars square, next to Seine river. It made by metal and today it known as French symbol. This tower is one of the most known places in the world and it has a lot of visitors in a day, which they come there from other countries.
The process of build it established at 1887 and in 1889 it ready to use. At first it was an international fair for 100th anniversary of French revelation but it didn’t accept by all people and 300 persons such as Zolla, Garnie, and Mopasan severely protest about made it. Making of tower was along two and half year. It weight was ten thousand ton that seven thousand ton of it is steel.
The name of tower come from its maker, Gostav Eiffel.
It is beautiful and you can visit it, also seine river at the same time and enjoy them.

Corrected


The Eiffel Tower is in Paris, in the Mars Square, next to the Seine River. It was made by metal and today it is known as a French symbol. This tower is one of the most known places in the world and it has a lot of visitors in a day who come from other countries. The tower was built in 1887, and in 1889, it was ready to use. At first, it was an international symbol for the 100th anniversary of the French revolution, but it wasn’t accepted by all people. Three hundred people such as Zolla, Garnie, and Mopasan severely protested the making of the tower. It took two and a half years to build the Eiffel Tower. It weighs ten thousand tons and seven thousand tons of it is steel. The name of the tower came from its maker, Gostay Eiffel. It is beautiful and you can visit it, and the Seine River, at the same time and enjoy them.



Original


In my city there is 3 big area that have water like small lake. We say them Chah Nime. they are sources of drinking and agriculture water. also there is fish in them and pepole hunt them. people go to the shore of CH at vacation and eat lunch.

Corrected


In my city, there are three big areas that have water like small lakes. They are called Chah Nime. They are sources of drinking and agricultural water. Also, there are fish in them so people can catch them. People go to the shore of CH for vacation and eat lunch. Chah Nime is beautiful and I recommend that you visit there someday.



Original


In my own opinion war is not necessary. In the history of Kiribati during Word WarII many people were die from Gun Shot. Few people were alive by their own rescue. Homes were destroyed, village during that day were messy and people were lying everywhere. It is a sad memory from our eldest. If I WERE that day I will already rescue myself and prepare my own attacked to kill as many as I could for the sake of my relatives. Therefore I strongly support that war is not a good way people in the past and today will not adapt it.

Corrected


In my own opinion, war is not necessary. In the history of Kiribati during World War II, many people died from gunshots. Few people were alive by their own self-protection. Homes were destroyed, villages during that day were messy and bodies were lying everywhere. It is a sad memory from our past. If I were there that day, I would have rescued myself and prepared my own attack to kill as many as I could for the sake of my relatives. Therefore, I strongly support that war is not a good way. People in the past and today should not adopt it.



Original


i remember coming home from school and got hit by a car and no one didnt know my family so people had to call the cops and i went to the hospital and got treat it and they call my grandmother i still remember like it was yesterday because i still see the man that hit me it wasnt important cause my grandma use to talk to him but know she gone i feel like if i didnt go between the cars i wouldnt gotten hit.but until today i have the scare on my legs.

Corrected


I remember coming home from school and getting hit by a car. No one knew my family, so people had to call the cops. I went to the hospital and got treated. They called my grandmother. I still remember it like it was yesterday because I still see the man that hit me. It wasn’t important because my grandma used to talk to him. Now that she is gone, I feel like if I hadn’t gone between the cars, I wouldn’t have gotten hit. Still today, I have the scar on my legs.




Intermediate Writings

Original


MY OLD HOUSE WAS LOCATED ON KOHAT ROAD.THAT HOUSE WAS HUGE AND BEAUTIFUL AND HAD SEVEN ROOMS AND A BIG LOUNGE AND CARPARK AND ALSO A LAWN.THAT HOUSE LOOKED VERY AMAZING BECAUSE IT WAS HUGE
AND LOOKED GREAT BECAUSE IT HAD GREAT PEOPLE IN IT.IT SMELLED CARING AND LOVABLE BECAUSE THE PEOPLE THERE IN WERE CARING AND LOVED EVERYONE OF THAT STREET. I REMEMBER ALOT OF MEMORIES OF MINE IN THAT HOUSE BUT I WOULD SHARE SOME OF THEM WHICH WERE FULL OF EXCITEMENT.ONCE UPON A TIME WE ALL FAMILY MEMBERS WERE SITTING IN LOUNGE AT NIGHT TIME AND THE NEXT DAY IT WAS MY BIRTHDAY .WE ALL COUSINS AND ADULTS WERE HAVING ICE-CREAMS AND NONE OF THEM WERE SLEEPING AS THEY WOULD WISH ME MY BIRTHDAY AT STRAIGHT 12 O CLOCK AS IT TURNED 12 I WAS GOING TO MY ROOM SO SUDDENLY ALL MY FAMILY MEMBERS CAME RUSHING TOWARDS ME SOME WITH CANDELS AND SOME WITH BALLONS AND A DELICIOUS CHOCLATE CAKE .THEY ALL MADE LOUD WISH TO ME AND HUGGED ME AND GAVE ME PEICES OF CAKE AND BLAST ALL BALLONS AND GAVE ME GIFTS INFRONT OF MY ROOM DOOR AND NOW I MISS MY OLD HOME ALOT

Corrected


My old house was located on Kohat Road. That house was huge and beautiful and had seven rooms and a big lounge, garage, and also a lawn. That house looked very amazing because it was huge and looked great because it had great people in it. It smelled caring and lovable because the people there were caring and loved everyone on that street. I remember a lot of memories of mine in that house, but I would like to share some of them, which were full of excitement. Once time, my family and I were sitting in the lounge at nighttime and the next day it was my birthday. We all were having ice cream and none of them were sleeping as they would wish me happy birthday at 12:00 sharp. As it turned midnight, I was going to my room, but suddenly, all my family members came rushing towards me: some with candles and some with balloons and a delicious chocolate cake. They all made loud wishes to me and hugged me and gave me pieces of cake and blasted all the balloons and gave me gifts in front of my room door. Now I miss my old home a lot.



Original


Hello, My name is Ann Vo, I am 11 years old. I have a nice face with straigh black hair. I am slim and tall. I look like my mother.
I am from Vietnam, I live in Bien Hoa with my parents and younger sister in a large house. My sister and I are friendly. Sometimes, we beat each other.
I go to Thong Nhat B Primary school by walk with my friends. At school, I love to study English because it is the international language and I can use it to communicate with foreigners. I hate to learn Math because it is difficult for me and it is very easy to make mistakes.
My favourite food is fried chicken and cucumber. I don't like to eat Chinese sausage and tomato.
When I have free time, I often read physic, chemistry and scince books in English. I love these books because I can learn many lessons from these subjects.

Corrected


Hello, My name is Ann Vo, I am 11 years old. I have a nice face with straight black hair. I am slim and tall. I look like my mother.

I am from Vietnam, I live in Bien Hoa with my parents and younger sister in a large house. My sister and I are friendly. Sometimes, we pick on each other.

I go to Thong Nhat B Primary school by walking with my friends. At school, I love to study English because it is the international language and I can use it to communicate with foreigners. I hate to learn Math because it is difficult for me and it is very easy to make mistakes.

My favourite food is fried chicken and cucumber. I don't like to eat Chinese sausage and tomato. When I have free time, I often read physics, chemistry and science books in English. I love these books because I can learn many lessons from these subjects.



Original


Do you want to be a chef? If you want to be like that, you should start to cook a simple meal. Fried egg is the one of the easy meal to cook. Here is my recipe to fried an egg.
For the ingredients, you prepare one egg, cooking oil, salt, pepper and one onion. To prepare the cooks, you have egg mixer, a bowl, a pan, a pair of chopstick and a plate. First, you break the egg, put in a bowl and mix it. Second, cut the onion, put it in the bowl with salt and pepper, mix them one more time.Next, you put a pan on electromagnetic cooker and turn on the cooker in temperatures in 34 degrees. Then you pour cooking oil in the pan, don't pour too much or too little. After that, you pour the bowl of egg into the pan. Wait for a few minute. During waiting, you must flip the egg to the other side by chopstick. Lastly, you put fried egg in to a plate. Be careful, you may get burn. If you want to make your meal tastier, you can also add tomato or cucumber on it. Finally, enjoy your delicous meal.
Fried egg is a popular food in my country. This meal is very easy that children can cook, too. I hope you like this meal.

Corrected


Do you want to be a chef? If you want to be like that, you should start to cook a simple meal. A fried egg is the one of the easiest meals to cook. Here is my recipe to fry an egg.

For the ingredients, you prepare one egg, cooking oil, salt, pepper and one onion. To prepare the cooks, you have an egg mixer, a bowl, a pan, a pair of chopsticks and a plate. First, you break the egg, put it in a bowl and mix it. Second, cut the onion, put it in the bowl with salt and pepper, mix them one more time. Next, you put a pan on an electromagnetic cooker and turn on the cooker to 34 degrees. Then you pour cooking oil in the pan, don't pour too much or too little. After that, you pour the bowl of egg into the pan. Wait for a few minutes. During waiting, you must flip the egg to the other side with chopsticks. Lastly, you put the fried egg on a plate. Be careful, you may get burnt. If you want to make your meal tastier, you can also add tomato or cucumber on it. Finally, enjoy your delicious meal.
A fried egg is a popular food in my country. This meal is very easy that children can cook it, too. I hope you like this meal.



Original


We live in a world where you can see someone eats caviar worth thousand of dollars and others starve to death. It is so unfair . Every time I saw the news where kids don not have even apiece of bread it brought tears to my eyes. I feel that every one of us is responsible about those kids and should act in someway to stop their hunger. 
First , I believe that every person who own more money than their need should donate their excess money or even asmall part to people in need . In my opinion , if every one did that their will not be hungry people in the world. 
Second, we throw in the trash every day more food than we eat,. Especially when we are having big parties like wedding or even birthday parties. I believe that one of the solution to solve world hunger is if there were organization to take the excess food and give it to the homeless and poor people. 
Finally , I think that all the parents should lteach their children how to be generous, kind and respectful to poor people . In this way Our children will grow up to be responsible adults who khnow the value ot the money , donate and do volunteer work .
At the end. ,there is nothing more painful than seeing a hungry kid. By stop wasting our money on silly stuff and donating we may play a helpful role in solving world hunger.

Corrected


We live in a world where you can see someone eating caviar worth thousands of dollars and others starve to death. It is so unfair. Every time I see the news where kids do not have even a piece of bread it brings tears to my eyes. I feel that every one of us is responsible for those kids and should act in someway to stop their hunger. 
First, I believe that every person who owns more money than their need should donate their excess money or even a small part to people in need. In my opinion, if everyone did that there will not be hungry people in the world. 
Second, we throw in the trash every day more food than we eat. Especially when we have big parties like weddings or even birthday parties. I believe that one of the solutions to solve world hunger is if there was an organization to take the excess food and give it to the homeless and poor people. 
Finally, I think that all the parents should teach their children how to be generous, kind and respectful to poor people. In this way, our children will grow up to be responsible adults who know the value of money, donate and do volunteer work.
At the end, there is nothing more painful than seeing a hungry kid. By stopping the waste of our money on silly stuff and donating we may play a helpful role in solving world hunger.



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Last Sunday, the weather was sunny and windy. That was a perfect day to go outside to enjoy the nature. I and my family went to Vung Tau beach by car. Before that day, my family were busy to prepare: my father was washing his car while mom was frying chicken for the trip. I and my sister prepared clothes and stuff to go.
On Sunday morning, we waked up early in the morning, when the sun haven't rise yet. The trip was so long. It took us about two hours to get there. The beach is so beautiful. The sky was deep and clear. We went to the hotel and selected the room. After selecting the room, my sister and I took out the beach toys and went to the beach with my parents. We made a sandcastle. It took about fifteen minutes to do it. It looked like a real yellow castle. After that, we went swimming. The water was cool. Everything was perfect on that day. We also had fried chicken and seafood for luch. The food at the beach was cheap and delicious. During the afternoon, we took a nap in the hotel. My sister and I were watching TV when my parents slept. When my parents waked up, dad said to me:"let's go surfing, there are many huge waves at the beach now, we will go surfing, your mother will take care your sister." I went surfing with my dad.
In the evening, before going home, we bought some souvenirs. It will be the memmory for this trip. We went home in the evening. It was the most perfect day I ever have.

Corrected


Last Sunday, the weather was sunny and windy. That was a perfect day to go outside to enjoy nature. My family and I went to Vung Tau beach by car. Before that day, my family was busy preparing: my father was washing his car while mom was frying chicken for the trip. My sister and I prepared clothes and stuff to go.
On Sunday morning, we woke up early in the morning, when the sun hadn't risen yet. The trip was so long. It took us about two hours to get there. The beach was so beautiful. The sky was deep and clear. We went to the hotel and selected the room. After selecting the room, my sister and I took out the beach toys and went to the beach with my parents. We made a sandcastle. It took about fifteen minutes to do it. It looked like a real yellow castle. After that, we went swimming. The water was cool. Everything was perfect on that day. We also had fried chicken and seafood for lunch. The food at the beach was cheap and delicious. During the afternoon, we took a nap in the hotel. My sister and I were watching TV when my parents slept. When my parents woke up, dad said to me, "Let's go surfing, there are many huge waves at the beach now, we will go surfing, your mother will take care your sister." I went surfing with my dad.



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Hello im live in indonesia.im a student and i will be a student university. Im 18 years old. i would like be a spiderman who help each other very fast with the spider webs. do something goodness to good people or criminal and fight crime.
my goals i'm a gorgeous woman,i'm a woman who do something goodness to each other. i must have a car for my mom , my self, a house for my mom first and my self and a suporrting people who love me and always give me advice.and i want to be a motivator. 
In this condision i work hard,study hard to have that. I'm learning new lesson . i always learn how to be a perfect woman.i read a motivation book. I ask some people and sharing.sometimes i failed,i feel sad but i have to push my self. Not easy but keep trying. Do your love and don't give up to the condition. Keep smile and always praying to have that.

Corrected


Hello. I live in Indonesia. I'm a student and soon I will be a university student. I'm 18 years old. I would like to be Spiderman – a person who helps others very fast with spider webs. I would like to do something good for good people or fight crime. I am a gorgeous woman. My goals are to be a woman who does something good for others. I must have a car and a house for my mom and myself. I must have supporting people who love me and always give me advice. I want to be a motivator.

In this condition, I work hard and study hard to have that. I'm learning new lessons. I always learn how to be a perfect woman. I read a motivational book. I ask some people and share my ideas. Sometimes I fail. I feel sad but I have to push myself. It's not easy, but I keep trying. Do the things you love and don't give up despite the conditions. Keep smiling and always pray to have that.



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My opinion is technology made world small and easy life. Now days communication become so easy people can know anything through the inter net. They could study on line, watching news, enjoying movie, knowing other culture, and develops themselves with business. World is benefited in every aspect in economy. On the other new technology like nuclear energy using harm destroy the life. Even a small technology could be bad if we use in bad sense like video game impact to the kids seriously bad for their student life. As I know everything has both good and bad side. Technology helps world modern.

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My opinion is technology made the world small and made life easier. Nowadays, communication has become so easy. People can know anything through the internet. They could study online, watch news, enjoy movies, know other cultures, and develop themselves with business. The world is benefited in every aspect in the economy. The other new technology, like nuclear energy, could be harmful and destroy lives. Even a small amount of technology could be bad if we use it in a bad sense. For example, video games impact kids seriously in a bad way, which affects their life as a student. As I know, everything has good and bad sides. Technology helps the world become more modern.



Original


hi i'm from india. india is known for its population and its democratic goverment.india is 7th largest country in the world.so it have lot of sites that will provide different expericences.in northen part of india most of the places developed by the mughal and early rulers of india.especially taj mahal , taj mahal was built by mughal empier shajahan. taj mahal actually is a tomb for his beloved wife mumtaj. taj mahal took place in a 7 wonders of world . taj mahal is in agra on the banks of riveryamuna.it is knowns as symbhol of love in india

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Hi, I’m from India. India is known for its population and its democratic government. India is the 7th largest country in the world. So it has lots of sites that will provide different experiences. In the northern part of India, most of the places were developed by the Mughal Empire and early rulers of India, specifically the Taj Mahal. The Taj Mahal was built by the Mughal Empire Shajahan. The Taj Mahal actually is a tomb for his beloved wife, Mumtaj. Taj Mahal is one of the Seven Wonders of the World. The Taj Mahal is in Agra on the banks of the river Yamuna. It is known as a symbol of love in India.



Original


The best country to visit.
I think I would prefer to visit India rather than other contries.
India is a big vasty country that hold different cultures among herself.
There is various sites and places that we can visite which each one of them may indicate the cultural of a different nation.
In one statement we can say that India is the land of nations.

Corrected


I think I would prefer to visit India rather than other countries. India is a big, vast country that holds different cultures in it. There are various sites and places that we can visit. Each one of them may indicate the culture of a different nation. In one statement, we can say that India is the land of nations.



Original


"Don't leave the house or open the door for anyone!" Said mum before she went to town .I was seven years old by then, I could hardly get what she was saying because of the video game, some hours after mum had gone out I heard people screaming outside. I opened the windows to get a clear view of what was going on I saw kids of my age running,because of curiosity I decided to go out and check out what was going on . When I got out I found the biggest snake I had never seen in my entire life, while people were running I wanted to get a little more closer to see what this snake could do. Before I knew it the snake was all over me I couldn't run or breath, neither could I raise my hand nor move my legs. I could my legs getting into the snakes mouth .I suddenly lost conscious . When I wake up I saw mum setting besides me and a doctor I didn't want to ask what happened or how I managed to survive because I was scared of mum. The surprising part is that up now I don't know how I survived.

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"Don't leave the house or open the door for anyone!" said mum before she went to town. I was seven years old by then. I could hardly get what she was saying because of the video game. Some hours after mum had gone out, I heard people screaming outside. I opened the windows to get a clear view of what was going on. I saw kids of my age running. Because of curiosity, I decided to go out and check out what was going on. When I got out, I found the biggest snake I had ever seen in my entire life. While people were running, I wanted to get a little closer to see what this snake could do. Before I knew it, the snake was all over me. I couldn't run or breathe, neither could I raise my hand nor move my legs. I could feel my legs going into the snake's mouth. I suddenly lost consciousness. When I woke up, I saw mum and a doctor sitting beside me. I didn't want to ask what happened or how I managed to survive because I was scared of mum. The surprising part is that up until now, I don't know how I survived.



Original


I am 48 years old, and God has blessed me with a kind, loving man whom I am married to for the past 26years
We have a beutiful loving daughter who is 13 years old. We brought her to our home from a relative who had her out of wedlock. She is a joy of our lives.

I am working as an Executive Secretary with Airports Fiji Limited and have been working with this company for 15 years. 
I consider myself a perfectionist and always striving for the best for my family, my work, for my friends and for any other activities that I involved myself in. 
I am a committed Christian something that my parents have taught me while growing up; to always put God first in everything we do. We are not rich but God's abundance blessings has made us rich in all areas of our life. Something that I am so grateful for.


I love to sing and listen to Christian music and songs. I am an outdoor type of person and love to be working with my hands in the garden when I am not in the office. I am also a Sunday school teacher, and love to teach children about God's teaching's and his love for mankind.I am always eager to help anyone who asks for my help or those around me that needs help either financially or spiritally. It gives me alot of satisfaction and happiness to help. 

As mentioned earlier, I am always striving for the best and attempting this online exercise will greatly assist my daily work here at Airports Fiji Limited.

Corrected


I am 48 years old, and God has blessed me with a kind, loving man whom I have been married to for the past 26 years. 
We have a beautiful loving daughter who is 13 years old. We brought her to our home from a relative who had her out of wedlock. She is a joy of our lives.

I am working as an Executive Secretary with Airports Fiji Limited and have been working with this company for 15 years. 
I consider myself a perfectionist and always striving for the best for my family, my work, for my friends and for any other activities that I involve myself in. 
I am a committed Christian, something that my parents taught me while growing up; to always put God first in everything we do. We are not rich, but God's abundant blessings have made us rich in all areas of our life. That is something that I am so grateful for.

I love to sing and listen to Christian music and songs. I am an outdoor type of person and love to be working with my hands in the garden when I am not in the office. I am also a Sunday school teacher, and love to teach children about God's teaching's and his love for mankind. I am always eager to help anyone who asks for my help or those around me that need help either financially or spiritually. It gives me a lot of satisfaction and happiness to help. 

As mentioned earlier, I am always striving for the best and attempting this online exercise will greatly assist my daily work here at Airports Fiji Limited.



Original


For me, the best country to visit is Israel. Being a christian; reading and studying the bible is part of my growing up at home. So, i am very familiar with places in Israel but have always dreamt to travel there one day. My dream came into fruition when myself and 40 other ladies from my church wen on pilmgarage tour to Israel in September of 2012. 

We left Fiji on the 21 of September and spent 2 weeks trotting the holy land. For me stepping foot in Israle and tarvelling around for 2 weeks its like you are at home, at peace with my soul. Such an amazing place, stepping foot on almost all the biblica sites i can think of from Jerusale where we stayed, to 2 nights in Galilee and then to Jericho and swim in the dead sea. The vast area of a desert, your naked eyes cannot reach, a beuatiful site to see. Its an amaizing place because though its dry, no rain while we were there but plentiful of all kinds of fruits. I have never tasted such delicious grapes and apples then the one I ate in Israel. To learn their culture is similar to my culture and was so blessed that i visited this place.

I would recommend a trip to Israel for any christian or to anyone for that matter. It is an mazing place with lots of sites to visit and with amazing people. For me its like home and definately will return.

Corrected


For me, the best country to visit is Israel. Being a Christian, reading and studying the Bible is part of my growing up at home. So, I am very familiar with places in Israel but have always dreamt of traveling there one day. My dream came into fruition when 40 ladies from my church and I went on a pilgrimage tour of Israel in September of 2012.

We left Fiji on the 21 of September and spent two weeks trotting the holy land. For me, stepping foot in Israel and traveling around for two weeks was like I was at home and at peace with my soul. It was such an amazing place, stepping foot on almost all the Biblical sites I could think of from Jerusalem, where we stayed, to two nights in Galilee and then to Jericho to swim in the Dead Sea. The desert was a vast and beautiful area that my naked eyes could not reach. It's an amazing place, although it is dry and there was no rain while we were there. However, there are plenty of kinds of fruits. I have never tasted such delicious grapes and apples than the ones I ate in Israel. I learned that their culture is similar to mine and I was so blessed that I visited that place.

I would recommend a trip to Israel for any Christian or to anyone, for that matter. It is an amazing place with lots of sites to visit and with amazing people. For me, it's like home and I will definitely return.



Original


the most important site to see in my home country is Bach Ma mountains. it is located on the south of hue city, about 20 miles far. Bach Ma is famous for wildlife. it was a small aiport before that France used to serve in the army. now it is where to preserve rare plants and animals. Do Quyen fall is the most beautiful view of bach ma. there are a lot of Do Quyen flowers and rare birds there. hope you have a chance to visit here one time.

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The most important site to see in my home country is Bach Ma mountains. It is located about 20 miles south of Hue City. Bach Ma is famous for wildlife. It was a small airport before when France used it to serve in the army. Now, it is where to preserve rare plants and animals. Do Quyen Falls is the most beautiful view of Bach Ma. There are a lot of Do Quyen flowers and rare birds there. I hope you have a chance to visit here one time.



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One of the thing that I enjoy most is to learn a new language. For me being able to communicate my ideas to others it is a fantastic way to make a lot of friends.

Knowing other language beside my primary language has been a big challenge. My primary language is Spanish and I try to improve my secondary language which is English.

There a many ways to learn other languages. One of them it is listen music, another one is watching TV and last but not least You tube videos.

Finally, I have found that work in a English speaking environment has helped me to improve my English. Therefore, be involved with coworkers who are English speaking has been very effective in my learning.

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One of the things that I enjoy most is to learn a new language. For me, being able to communicate my ideas to others is a fantastic way to make a lot of friends. Knowing another language besides my primary language has been a big challenge. My primary language is Spanish and I try to improve my secondary language which is English. There are many ways to learn other languages. One of them is listening to music, another one is watching TV, and last but not least, watching Youtube videos. Finally, I have found that working in an English speaking environment has helped me to improve my English. Therefore, being involved with coworkers who are English speaking has been very effective in my learning.



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The majority of people tend to go outside such as fitness center for doing exercise. But others would like to do home's exercise for keeping good health. As for myself, i prefer to do stay in home to do exercise. My reasons are as follow:

The one of primary factor is that people usually don.t have time to go outside for doing exercise. Nowadays, many people tend to have a lot of pressure from the job in this competitive societies, and they usually need to do much than the usual to keep them have a good quality of living. After all, For keeping good heath people would like to do exercise in the home.

However compelling these cases may sound, going to outside for exercise is not without its problems. For example, people who workout outside usually have good a body looking. On the other hand, other people who don't have a good shape will feel less confidence to do exercise with those guys because they embarrass for doing exercise in the front of others. In this sense, home.s working is helpful for those kinds of people to keep working for increasing their body with good heath.

Moreover, doing exercise in the more respond to some people.s consideration that going to fitness center cannot. For one thing, People need to spend a lot of money to go to the gym. seeking for long term, Instead of going to outside, people do some exercise in the home will save money. To get in to the fitness center and parking need to pay anytime. So it is not worth it.

in the final analysis, it is true that both doing exercise in the home and going to outside are both helpful for heathy. However, considering the potential problems list in the passage. I believe it is sensible to do it at home.

Corrected


    The majority of people tend to go outside, such as to a fitness center, to do exercise. But others would like to do exercise at home for keeping good health. As for myself, I prefer to stay at home to do exercise. My reasons are as follows.

    One of the primary factors is that people usually don.t have time to go outside to do exercise. Nowadays, many people tend to have a lot of pressure from their jobs in this competitive society, and they usually need to do a more than usual to keep having a good quality of life. After all, to keep good health, people would like to do exercise in the home.

    Also, going outside for exercise is not without its problems. For example, people who workout outside usually have a good looking body. On the other hand, other people who don.t have a good shape will feel less confidence to do exercise with those healthy people because they are embarrassed to do exercise in front of others. In this sense, working out at home is helpful for those kinds of people to keep working to increase their body with good health.

    Moreover, it is important to consider all aspects of joining a gym. For example, people need to spend a lot of money to go to the gym. In the long term, instead of going to the gym, doing exercise at home will save money. Getting into fitness centers and parking garages nearby them costs money. So it is not worth it.

    In the final analysis, it is true that both doing exercise in the home and going outside are both helpful for health. However, considering the potential problems listed in the passage, I believe it is sensible to do it at home.



Original


I like to travel many countries as much as possible. However in my financial capability was not as strong to travel that much of country. Fortunately I already had gone to the Singapore, that was my dream to travel to see that country. Singapore was a very eye-catching and attractive country. it was a quite small and well developed country compared to other Asian countries.Singapore is an independent country and Lee kuan yaw was a prime minster until 2011. During his tenure, the country was boost in a very high level and also established an international airline. Singapore also established excellent education system. people from all over the world has gone to Singapore to get hire education because the provide quality education based on international standered.
Singer pore also have very attractive places for sit seen such as Juroand bird park sentosa resort. These are very beautiful and attractive place. i also went to those place and taken pictures as well.

Corrected


I like to travel to many countries as much as possible. However, my financial capability is not strong enough to travel to many countries. Fortunately, I have already gone to Singapore. That was my dream to travel to see that country. Singapore was a very eye-catching and attractive country. It was a quite small and well-developed country compared to other Asian countries. Singapore is an independent country and Lee Kuan Yaw was the prime minister until 2011. During his tenure, the country was boosted to a very high level and also established an international airline. Singapore also established an excellent education system. People from all over the world have gone to Singapore to get higher education because they provide quality education based on international standards. Singapore also has very attractive places for sight-seeing such as Juroand Bird Park and the Sentosa Resort. These are very beautiful and attractive places. I also went to those places and took pictures.



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I plan to retire in 2020, about five years from today. I came from Taiwan and have worked and lived in Maryland for over 30 years. Thirty years is a very long time and I miss my families in Taiwan. I would like to move back to Taiwan when I retire because almost all my families are there.

I think I will be happier if I can live in the same city where my siblings live. I would cook and bake cakes and bread for them because I always like to do all these in the kitchen. A couple of my older siblings are getting old and became pretty ill these years, so I thought I should go home to take care of them as early as possible.

Corrected


I plan to retire in 2020, about five years from today. I am from Taiwan and have worked and lived in Maryland for over 30 years. Thirty years is a very long time and I miss my family in Taiwan. I would like to move back to Taiwan when I retire because almost all my family is there.

I think I will be happier if I can live in the same city where my siblings live. I would cook and bake cakes and bread for them because I always like to work in the kitchen. A couple of my older siblings are getting old and have become pretty ill recently, so I thought I should go home to take care of them as soon as possible.



Original


First of all, I would like to introduce you I am a citizen of Pakistan. Pakistan is situated in South Asia and very beautiful country in this World. Pakistan has many important sites to see. Most importantly, if we are talking about the North Areas of Pakistan are very beautiful and full of nature sceneries as well as natural resources. Northern Areas of Pakistan spread over 72,496 Sq. Km are as fascinating as its southern region. There many mountains with high peaks are covered with snow and there heights vary from 1000 m to 8000 meters. The culture, norms and traditions of this region is interesting. The people of this region have typical costumes, folk dances, music and sports like polo and buzkashi, providing the traveler an unforgotten experience. Out of 14 over 8000 meters high peaks on the earth, 4 occupy an amphitheater at the head of Baltoro glacier in Karakoram range in Northern Pakistan. These are; K-2 or Godowin Austin (8611 m, world’s second highest), Gasherbrum- I (8068 m), Broad Peak (8047 m) and Gasherbrum-II (8035 m). There is another which is equally great, Nanga Parbat (8126 m) located at the western end of the Himalayas. In addition to that there are 68 peaks over 7000 m and hundreds others of over 6000 meters.

Swat Valley:

The lush green valley of Swat is very attractive place in the Northern Region having icy cold lakes, fruit laden orchards and flower decked slopes is ideal for traveler or holiday makers. It has a rich historical pas too because the Buddhist stupas and statues are found all over Swat Valley. Swat is divided in three main areas, Saidu Sharif, Mingora and Kalam.

Gilgit and Hunza Valleys:

The Gilgit is also a very beautiful place to see in the Northern Region due to its outstanding beauty and having largest suspension bridge in Asia (182 meters long and 2 meters wide) on the fast flowing Gilgit River.

The Hunza is more beautiful place to visit due to the fragrant breeze singing through graceful popular trees and the velvet like green carpet of wheat fields, set against the background of snow covered mountains.

Chitral Valley and Kalash Valley:

The Chitral Valley is the favourite place for mountaineers, anglers, hundtres, hikers, naturalists and anthroplogists. The Trichmir (7705 m) the highest peak of the Hindukush range is located in the area.

The Kalash Valley is the major attraction of Chitral known as Kafir-Kalash or Weareres of the Balck Robes. The Kalash people are fun lovers who love music and dancing particularly on occasion of their reglious festivals.

Corrected


First of all, I would like to introduce myself as a citizen of Pakistan. Pakistan is situated in South Asia and is a very beautiful country in this World. Pakistan has many important sites to see. Most importantly, if we are talking about the North Areas of Pakistan, they very beautiful and full of nature sceneries as well as natural resources. Northern Areas of Pakistan spread over 72,496 Sq. Km and are as fascinating as its southern region. There many mountains with high peaks that are covered with snow and their heights vary from 1000 m to 8000 meters. The culture, norms and traditions of this region are interesting. The people of this region have typical costumes, folk dances, music and sports like polo and buzkashi, providing the traveler an unforgettable experience. Out of 14 over 8000 meters high peaks on the earth, 4 occupy an amphitheater at the head of Baltoro glacier in Karakoram range in Northern Pakistan. These are; K-2 or Godowin Austin (8611 m, world’s second highest), Gasherbrum- I (8068 m), Broad Peak (8047 m) and Gasherbrum-II (8035 m). There is another which is equally great, Nanga Parbat (8126 m) located at the western end of the Himalayas. In addition to that, there are 68 peaks over 7000 m and hundreds of others of over 6000 meters.

Swat Valley:

The lush green valley of Swat is a very attractive place in the Northern Region having icy cold lakes, fruit laden orchards and flower decked slopes which are ideal for travelers or holiday makers. It has a rich historical past too because the Buddhist stupas and statues are found all over Swat Valley. Swat is divided in three main areas: Saidu Sharif, Mingora and Kalam.

Gilgit and Hunza Valleys:

The Gilgit is also a very beautiful place to see in the Northern Region due to its outstanding beauty and having the largest suspension bridge in Asia (182 meters long and 2 meters wide) on the fast flowing Gilgit River.

The Hunza is a more beautiful place to visit due to the fragrant breeze singing through graceful popular trees and the velvet like green carpet of wheat fields, set against the background of snow covered mountains.

Chitral Valley and Kalash Valley:

The Chitral Valley is the favourite place for mountaineers, anglers, hunters, hikers, naturalists and anthropologists. The Trichmir, (7705 m) the highest peak of the Hindukush range, is located in the area.

The Kalash Valley is the major attraction of Chitral known as Kafir-Kalash or Weareres of the Balck Robes. The Kalash people are fun people who love music and dancing particularly on occasion of their religious festivals.



Original


The article of sweatshirts describes the injustice that happens in third world countries, where there are many violations of human rights to women and children. After the article was released to college students, the outrageous news caused different reactions all over the campus. The response was always the same to find a way to stop the unhuman treatment to people in third world countries. Now there are some aspects that were highlighted such as children as young as eleven or twelve years old are working ten or more hours every day. In Honduras local laws prohibit anyone under the age of fourteen from doing factory work. There are characteristics such as temperature that exceeds 100 degrees, no safe drink water, and they are under paid. Fairness is been violated.
There are solutions that students can help to minimize or stop the abuse to children and women. The first of all they should stop buying products made for Transterra textiles company. Boycotting the sales will show that people is on disagreement with Transterra textile company and the form they treat their employees. We can help to improve how people are treated in the work place, especially children and women.
Children as young as eleven years old are been force to work ten hours a day or more. Children at that age should be playing and making great memories about their childhood. They should be at school learning something new that would help them be a better person in the future. Children must know that they are the future of their country. But if we keep buying products from companies that force children and women to work in unhuman conditions they will never have the opportunity to enjoy what really means being a kid.
Equally important is to say that children and women do not have adequate facilities that provide a safety environment. Most or all of the factories where these children and women work do not have safety sanitary standards. The temperatures in those factories exceed 100 degrees and there is no safe drink water. Children are exposed to many dangers that could be solved by simply stop buying products from companies that do not follow Universal Intellectual Standards.
Important to realize that Transterra Textiles Company underpays their employees, the common salary will run about 68 cents per hour. After working hard the whole day with outrageous temperatures and no sanitary services the pay is not good at all. However we have to realize that every country has different laws and living standards. In Honduras people can make a living with the salary they get pay when even thought is far less than what an American citizen makes daily. As the article says Honduras is a third world class country which does not have or has not developed the best technology to increase its productivity and economy. 
The comparison of living standards of two countries as Honduras and U.S is huge. In many poor countries around the world entire families work every day to bring food to their table and Honduras is not the exception. Now many people believe that children should not work. The situation in Honduras is very common in poor countries and there is not difference than farmers that have their kids working at the corn field driving tractors and expose to herbicides every day.
In conclusion, stopping products coming from Honduras will not change the situation in Honduras. We can buy products from a company that matches the Universal Intellectual Standards but as we switch from one supplier to another Honduras will do the same.

Corrected


The article of sweatshirts describes the injustice that happens in third world countries where there are many violations of human rights of women and children. After the article was released to college students, the outrageous news caused different reactions all over the campus. The response was always the same to find a way to stop the inhumane treatment of people in third world countries. Now there are some aspects that were highlighted such as children as young as eleven or twelve years old are working ten or more hours every day. In Honduras, local laws prohibit anyone under the age of fourteen from doing factory work. There are characteristics such as temperature that exceeds 100 degrees, no safe drinking water, and they are under paid. Fairness has been violated.
There are solutions that students can use to minimize or stop the abuse to children and women. First of all, they should stop buying products made by Transterra textiles company. Boycotting the sales will show that people are in disagreement with Transterra textile company and the form in which they treat their employees. We can help to improve how people are treated in the work place, especially women and children.

Children as young as eleven years old are being forced to work ten hours a day or more. Children at that age should be playing and making great memories about their childhood. They should be at school learning something new that would help them be a better person in the future. Children must know that they are the future of their country. But if we keep buying products from companies that women and children to work in inhumane conditions. They will never have the opportunity to enjoy what it really means to be a kid.

Equally important is to say that women and children do not have adequate facilities that provide a safe environment. Most or all of the factories where these women and children work do not have safe sanitary standards. The temperatures in those factories exceed 100 degrees and there is no safe drinking water. Children are exposed to many dangers that could be solved by simply not buying products from companies that do not follow Universal Intellectual Standards.
It is important to realize that Transterra Textiles Company underpays their employees. The common salary will run about 68 cents per hour. After working hard the whole day with outrageous temperatures and no sanitary services, the pay is not good at all. However we have to realize that every country has different laws and living standards. In Honduras, people can make a living with the salary they get paid even though is far less than what an American citizen makes daily. As the article says, Honduras is a third world country which does not have or has not developed the best technology to increase its productivity and economy.

The comparison of living standards of two countries as Honduras and U.S is huge. In many poor countries around the world, entire families work every day to bring food to their table and Honduras is not the exception. Now, many people believe that children should not work. The situation in Honduras is very common in poor countries and there is not difference than farmers that have their kids working in the corn field driving tractors and being exposed to herbicides every day.

In conclusion, stopping products coming from Honduras will not change the situation in Honduras. We can buy products from a company that matches the Universal Intellectual Standards, but as we switch from one supplier to another, Honduras will do the same.



Original


The most exciting place in my country is the beach there are three hundred and sixty five beaches in my country of ANTIGUA. It is very beautiful and it is a fun place to be. There are a lot of coconut trees, sugar cane, Fruit trees, and Beautiful flowers. The roads are smooth and clean, the people are kind, loving, friendly and always ready and willing to help at all times. Every one who visited my country always come back for another visit. That is because it is so beautiful, and fun to see. The hills and valleys are so green and pretty in the day times. The crew ships are big and lovely there are a lot of people travel on the ships. When they come on land the street is full of tourist from all kind of islands. They eat and drink different kind of food and drinks. They love the kind of things they sells. It is very beautiful and i would like every one to come and see it some day.

Corrected


The most exciting place in my country is the beach. There are three hundred and sixty five beaches in my country of Antigua. It is very beautiful and it is a fun place to be. There are a lot of coconut trees, sugar cane, fruit trees, and beautiful flowers. The roads are smooth and clean, the people are kind, loving, friendly and always ready and willing to help at all times. Everyone who has visited my country always comes back for another visit. That is because it is so beautiful, and fun to see. The hills and valleys are so green and pretty in the daytime. The crew ships are big and lovely. There are a lot of people who travel on the ships. When they come on land, the street is full of tourists from all kinds of islands. They eat and drink different kinds of food and drinks. They love the kind of things they sell. It is very beautiful and I would like every one to come and see it some day.



Original


First of all, my perfect day was the February 28th. It was perfect day because I passed LEAP3. LEAP is Langara English for Academic Purpose. After I received my report card, I just went to home. I wanted to relax. Consquently, the February 28th, when I get the report card, was perfect day. Second, my perfect day was also February 28th. It was perfect day because my mom and brother were visited me. I was so excited because I didn't seen them since September. We walked near by my home. Consequently, the perfect day was the February 28th when my mom and brother came.

Corrected


First of all, my perfect day was February 28th. It was a perfect day because I passed LEAP3. LEAP is Langara English for Academic Purpose. After I received my report card, I just went home. I wanted to relax. Consquently, February 28th, when I got the report card, was a perfect day. It was a perfect day because my mom and brother visited me. I was so excited because I hadn.t seen them since September. We walked nearby my home. Consequently, the perfect day was the February 28th when my mom and brother came.



Original


To whom it may concern:
I am honored to write this personal recommendation for ____________ .
 
He performed as a subcontractor to our company since 02/2010 and he executed following working and services: a demolition, a replacement of tiles, a marble and other materials, repair, construction and design of floor, and other surfaces, interior design based on customer requests.
He showed interest in learning new techniques work and installation of building materials.
He performed work seriously and with great interest in their timely completion.
He had a good relationship with clients and owners, using an efficient and equitable way of working.
 
Can you recommend in obtaining the license contract for his entrepreneurial qualities.
Sincerely

Signature
President

Corrected


To whom it may concern:
I am honored to write this personal recommendation for ____________ .
 
He performed as a subcontractor for our company since 02/2010 and he executed the following work and services: a demolition, a replacement of tiles of marble and other materials, repair, construction and design of flooring and other surfaces, as well as interior design based on customer requests.
He showed interest in learning new techniques and installation of building materials.
He performed work seriously and with great interest in their timely completion.
He had a good relationship with clients and owners, using an efficient and equitable way of working.
 
I strongly recommend him to obtain the licensing contract for his entrepreneurial experiences.
Sincerely,

Signature
President



Original


Dear Hiring Manager,
My name is ______. I am writing this letter in reference to the Retail Sales Women's Apparel. I have on application on site_____________ for this job.
I would like to know whether you are received my application and what do you think about this.
I should like in your store because it's very famous, with different costumer. I like to work with the people because I am starting in my professional activities as teacher. I have more skills in to drive my overall sales through building and maintening relationships with my costumers, developing my client base, providing product knowledge, ensuring clients are called for events and the arrival of new merchandise.
I can work extensively with visual standards and marketing high-tickets pieces.
Please take the time to consider my application. I would greatly appreciate the opportunity to meet with you personally to discuss what I have to bring to the position at _________ at this time.
My friend, Monica would offer you same information about me. She is a nice lady and talk with me about this job.
Regards

Corrected


Dear Hiring Manager,

    My name is _________. I am writing this letter in reference to the Retail Sales Women’s Apparel. I have an application on the _________ website for this job. I would like to know whether you received my application and if you have any thoughts about it.

    I would like to work in your store because it’s very famous and has many different customers. I like to work with people and I am starting my career as a teacher. I have many skills to drive my overall sales through building and maintaining relationships with my costumers, developing my client base, providing product knowledge, and ensuring clients are called for events and the arrival of new merchandise.

    I can work extensively with visual standards and marketing high-ticket pieces. Please take the time to consider my application. I would greatly appreciate the opportunity to meet with you personally to discuss what I have to bring to the position at _________ at this time.

    My colleague, Monica, would offer you some information about me. She is a nice lady and referred me to this job.

Regards,



Original


I will never forget that flying ten hours from Istanbul to New York. I was initially excited about travelling on the Pacific Ocean, but within minutes, I felt dizzy and weak. I spend the next hours in misery, counting the time until I could get back on solid ground. After that I checked web sites for flying sickness to find some information about how to deal with it.
I found an article and it said taking medicine might help to get over motion sickness by being sleepy. While traveling, avoiding alcoholic beverage, high fat foods, and spices may prevent us having motion sickness.
I think next time I will be prepared for it.

Corrected


    I will never forget flying ten hours from Istanbul to New York. I was initially excited about travelling over the Pacific Ocean, but within minutes, I felt dizzy and weak. I spend the next hours in misery, counting the time until I could get back on solid ground. After that I checked websites for flying sickness to find some information about how to deal with it. I found an article and it said taking medicine might help to get over motion sickness by causing sleepiness. While traveling, avoiding alcoholic beverages, high fat foods, and spices may prevent us from having motion sickness.

    I think next time, I will be prepared for it.



Original


Some people believe that go to college is not necessary. Nowadays, some may hold an opinion with agree with this statement, but some others have a negative attitude. As far as I am concerned that go to college is really important. My arguments for this point are listed as follows. 
One of my primary causes is that college is helping you get more opportunities for your job. As of right now, many people are hardly to find a job. Even though you are luck to get a new one, but you are still facing the dismissal. To solve this situation in the acute competitive market, high education and expert social communication’s skill is the only way to make you stronger and more chances to survive. Obviously, college is the place for practicing everything you need for future. 
College seems a small society. There are many students with different major. To make lots of unlike friends is one of the reasons for attend to college. As my experience, one of my father friends who was studying the interior decoration in the same with my father’s college help us to design our house, and the house are really beautiful. People live is varieties, if you plenty of friends that will make your life more easier and comfortable. 
Furthermore, college’s class is the excellent place to simulate the work. Your professor is boss; you and your classmate such as the employee. When your boss assigns the project to you or your group, you need to finish it and also need to think about how to make yourself better than other employees. Practicing the Competition with other classmates, which is the best way for boss can notice your value, will make you stronger in the real workplace, moreover, will help you get a steady job. 
Recognizing the facts that attend to college is really important and helpful for your future. 
Knowledge is not only significant get a job, but also for your whole life. College mostly changes 
people life getting better. So i think go to college is really important.

Corrected


    Some people believe that going to college is not necessary. Nowadays, some may hold an opinion that agrees with this statement, but some others have a negative attitude. As far as I am concerned, going to college is really important. My arguments for this point are listed as follows.
    One of my primary causes is that college helps you get more opportunities for your job. As of right now, it is hard to find a job for many people. Even though you are lucky to get a new one, you are still facing dismissal. To solve this situation in the acute competitive market, high education and expert social communication’s skill are the only ways to make you stronger and have more chances to survive. Obviously, college is the place for practicing everything you need for the future.
    College seems like a small society. There are many students with different majors. To make lots of different friends is one of the reasons for attending college. As my experience, one of my father’s friends, who was studying interior decoration in the same college as my father, helped us to design our house and the house is really beautiful. People live in varieties. If you have plenty of friends, that will make your life easier and comfortable.
    Furthermore, college classes are an excellent place to simulate work. Your professor is the boss, you and your classmates are like employees. When your boss assigns the project to you or your group, you need to finish it and also need to think about how to make yourself better than the other employees.
    Practicing the competition with other classmates, which is the best way for your boss to notice your value, will make you stronger in the real workplace. Moreover, it will help you get a steady job.
    Recognizing the facts about attending college is really important and helpful for your future. Knowledge is not only significant to get a job, but also for your whole life. College mostly changes people’s lives for the better. So, I think going to college is really important.



Original


Today, I will give you an instruction about me. I am a freshman. My name is Alias. I am a computer science engineer.
My hobbies is playing badminton and soccer. I study english at school about 3 hours every week. In addition, i am studying english by myself. I am living with my family.Currently, I am a single boy.
Finally, i from Thai Lan. Have a nice day!

Corrected


    Today, I will give you an introduction about me. I am a freshman. My name is Alias. I am a Computer Science Engineer.

    My hobbies are playing badminton and soccer. I study English at school about three hours every week. In addition, I study English by myself. I am living with my family. Currently, I am a single boy. Finally, I am from Thailand. Have a nice day!



Original


Hi my teacher and everybody.
This is a first post,i recently found this site.
Today, I will recount the best of day in my life. It is a perfect day like thread's name.
It is the day that I made money by my knowledge . I take 0.01$ from admob advertise system. I will become a developer in future. Currently, I am a student in an university in Thai Lan

Corrected


Hi my teacher and everybody. This is my first post. I recently found this site.

    Today, I will recount the best day of my life. It was a perfect day, like the topic’s name. It was the day that I made money by my own knowledge. I took $0.01 from Admob Advertisement System. I will become a developer in the future. Currently, I am a student in a university in Thailand.



Original


Stonehenge
The Stonehenge is a memorial of the history. It placed in England, near Viltshayer.
This historical place reminds from bronze era and based on radiocarbon dating, its archaism reaches to 2000 or 3000 BC. 
Who know how was SH exactly built?
Big stones with a 50 tons weight were pulled by group of men over the rollers. They were standing up, using rope or if it was necessary, by creating downhill dirt. 
Today, the most of big building in the world are a secret. Scientists and archeologists try to find these secrets. 
Experts are believed that the big ring of stones in SH is a temple, so an astronomy place.
You can travel to England and visit this scientific place. Also, you have an opportunity to learn English and enjoy both of them at the same time in this journey.

Corrected


Stonehenge is a memorial of history. It is placed in English, near Viltshayer. This historical place remains from the bronze ear and, based on radiocarbon dating, its archaism reaches to 2000 or 3000 BC.

    Who knows exactly how Stonehenge was built?

    Big stones with a weight of 50 tons were pulled by groups of men over rollers. They were standing up, using rope, or if it was necessary, creating downhill dirt.

    Today, most big buildings in the world have secrets. Scientists and archeologists try to find these secrets.

    Experts believe that the big ring of stones is Stonehenge is a temple, like an astronomical place. You can travel to English and visit this scientific place. Also, you have an opportunity to learn English and enjoy both of them at the same time in this journey.



Original


Artemis temple is one of the seven strangest places in the world. This place was built in the current Turkey at 550 BC. The temple is near the Saljoq town, next to the historical places were called Efesos.
Efesos town is near Ezmir city and their distance is about 50 Km. This temple is one of the beautiful places in the world that causes it as odd place.
The temple was ordered by Qaroon, the king of Lidy, to Chersiphronv, Greek architect. 
Decorations of temple were bronze sculptures that were made by best sculptor experts such as Ploycleitus, Kresilas and Phradmon. Tourists, merchants, industrialists and kings came to holy temple. They expressed their respects to the temple by bring different gifts.
Some of those gifts such as rings, bracelets, and necklace were found by Archaeologists. You can visit the holy temple by traveling to turkey and it makes you lasting memories.

Corrected


    The Artemis Temple is one of the seven strangest places in the world. This place was built in Turkey in 550 BC. The temple is near Saljoq, next to historical place which is called Efesos. Efesos is near Ezmir and their distance is about 50 km. This temple is one of the beautiful places that make the town a unique place.

    Qaroon, the king of Lidy, ordered Chersiphronv, a Greek architect, to build the temple.  Decorations o the temple were bronze sculptures that were made by expert sculptors, such as Ploycleitus, Kresilas and Phradmon. Tourists, merchants, industrialists and kings came to the holy temple. They expressed their respects to the temple by bringing different gifts. Some of those gifts, such as rings, bracelets, and necklaces, were found by archaeologists.

    You can visit the holy temple and make lasting memories by traveling to Turkey.



Original


My dad is my hero. He has a great influence on my life. He is a special person and he is realy diffrent. His character is unique . Not only he has a great influence on me but also on all people around him.

My dad is a kind, honest, respectable and smart man. He is a positive, optimistic and cheerful person. He loves God very much. He prays all the prayers on time and follows God's orders very well.

My dad is a very successful person in his work and in his life . In his work , he gains alot of presents , and all his friends respect him . His manager appreciates his work and his personality. For the family, all the members of the family really love my dad as he is good to them. He treats them well and stands beside them in their good and difficult times.

My dad is a hero because really i want to be like him . I admire him and i admire the way he lives his life. He works hard to satisfy God and at the same time he is succesful in his work besides, his good relations with all the members of the family.

Corrected


    My dad is my hero. He has a great influence on my life. He is a special person and he is really different. His character is unique. Not only does he have a great influence on me, but also on all the people around him.

    My dad is a kind, honest, respectable and smart man. He is a positive, optimistic and cheerful person. He loves God very much. He prays all the time and follows God.s orders very well.

    My dad is a very successful person in his work and in his life. In his work, he receives a lot of presents, and all his friends respect him. His manager appreciates his work and his personality. All the members of the family really love my dad and he is good to them. He treats them well and stands beside them in their good and difficult times.

    My dad is a hero because I really want to be like him. I admire him and I admire the way he lives his life. He works hard to satisfy God and, at the same time, he is successful in his work. Besides these reasons, he has good relationships with all the members of the family.



Original


I am Gunasekaran living in Chennai. We are four, my mom, wife and my new born baby.

My last year birthday was my favorite one. It was the first birthday which I celebrated with my wife because one month before only we got engaged. So it is very special not only for me but also for my wife.

We celebrated my birthday in my office with my colleagues and friends. So it is always ever green moment in my life. After the cake cutting, we went for hotel and spent more than an hour and talked a lot.

Generally before marriage, a girl cannot come to her husband’s home. Personally I feel shy to her home. So we both confused about where we could celebrate. We were not aware that my colleagues and friends were arranged to celebrate my birthday in the office. So it was pleasant surprise for me.

I would like to thank them those who were made the arrangement to my birthday. I never forget this moment in my life time.

Corrected


    My name is Gunasekaran and I live in Chennai. There are four people in my family: my mom, my wife, my newborn baby and me. My birthday last year was my favorite one. It was the first birthday which I celebrated with my wife because only one moth before that we got engaged. So, it was very special, not only for me, but also for my wife.

    We celebrated my birthday in my office with my colleagues and friends. So it will always be a cherished memory in my life. After the cake cutting, we went to the hotel and spent an hour talking.

    Generally before marriage, a girl cannot come to her future-husband’s home. Personally, I felt shy to go to her home. So, we were both confused about where we could celebrate. We were not aware that my colleagues and friends were arranging a celebration for my birthday at the office. It was a pleasant surprise for me.

    I would like to thank those who made the arrangements for my birthday. I will never forget this moment in my lifetime.


Advanced Writings

Original


I had a very different Thanksgiving holiday in 2014. I live by myself in Maryland and usually just go to my friend's home for Thanksgiving. In 2014, I decided to have the Thanksgiving with my sisters in California. 

My older sister and her husband live in San Francisco, and my younger sister and her family live in Sacramento. I have flown to California to see them many times previously but have never spent any holidays there. Year 2014 was different because my nephew and nieces came to the U.S. to study, and they happened to attend the same college located in San Jose. Thus, we decided to spend the holiday in Sacramento, my younger sister's home. 

I purchased the airline ticket ahead of time and flew to San Francisco to spend some time with my older sister and my brother-in-law. My younger sister and her husband came to pick me up and we drove to her home in Sacramento, which is one and a half hours' driving distance

The food we prepared for the big day was pretty traditional. We ordered the turkey and couple of side dishes from Boston Market, and my niece and I cooked some extra dishes. On Thanksgiving Day, my nephew and two nieces from San Jose, my older sister, her daughter and her husband from San Francisco, all arrived before dinner time. 

We took a lot of pictures and had a great time together. I came from a big family, and my siblings and their children are all over the world in China, Taiwan, and the U.S. A Thanksgiving like the one we had in 2014 is really a memorable one.

Corrected


I had a very different Thanksgiving holiday in 2014. I live by myself in Maryland and usually just go to my friend's home for Thanksgiving. In 2014, I decided to have Thanksgiving with my sisters in California. 

My older sister and her husband live in San Francisco, and my younger sister and her family live in Sacramento. I have flown to California to see them many times previously but have never spent any holidays there. Year 2014 was different because my nephew and nieces came to the U.S. to study, and they happened to attend the same college located in San Jose. Thus, we decided to spend the holiday in Sacramento, my younger sister's home. 

I purchased the airline ticket ahead of time and flew to San Francisco to spend some time with my older sister and my brother-in-law. My younger sister and her husband came to pick me up and we drove to her home in Sacramento, which is one and half hours away. 

The food we prepared for the big day was pretty traditional. We ordered the turkey and a couple of side dishes from Boston Market, and my niece and I cooked some extra dishes. On Thanksgiving Day, my nephew and two nieces from San Jose, my older sister, her daughter and her husband from San Francisco, all arrived before dinner time. 

We took a lot of pictures and had a great time together. I came from a big family, and my siblings and their children are all over the world in China, Taiwan, and the U.S. A Thanksgiving, like the one we had in 2014, is really a memorable one.



Original


Babak Castle
The Babak castle is near Kalibar, about 3 km, above a mountain with 2300 m height. The castle was built in Sasanian period. Its name comes from Babak Khoramdin, the leader of anti Arabic aggressor, in 893 AC.
When we go to the castle, we should go across a passageway. This way is like a tunnel and at a minute, only one person can pass it. Passageway is in front of the castle and their distance is about 200 m. Two towers are around the pass. 
The building of tower has two and three floor and its place is after entrance. When you enter the original hall, you can see seven rooms place around it. In the west area of the castle, there are sources of water and technical installations.
This place is very strange and I suggest you to visit it and enjoy this beautiful place and use good weather.

Corrected


    The Babak castle is near Kalibar, about 3 km above a mountain with a height of 2300 meters. The castle was built in the Sasanian period. Its name comes from Babak Khoramdin, the leader of anti Arabic aggression in 893 AD.

    When we go to the castle, we should go across a passageway. This way is like a tunnel, and at one time, only one person can pass through it. The passageway is in front of the castle and their distance is about 200 m. Two towers are around the pass.

    The building of the tower has two and three floors and its place is after the entrance. When you enter the original hall, you can see seven rooms placed around it. In the west area of the castle, there are sources of water and technical installations.

    This place is very strange and I suggest you visit it and enjoy this beautiful place. Hopefully you will have good weather.



Original


Acrilamide is a synthetic compound that uses especially as a polymer precursor (polyacrylamide) for example it uses in waste water treatment, paper and packaging industries. For the first time, in April 2002, acrylamide was reported in carbohydrate-rich fried foods such as potato chips, French-fries, biscuits, bread and coffee, by the Swedish National Food Administration and University of Stockholm .
The presence of acrylamide in the human diets is a potential risk as a neurotoxic and carcinogenic agent. 
Many traditional and industrial diets have precursors of acrylamide such as free asparagine and reducing sugars, that they form acrylamide during the preparation and processing of food in frying, baking, roasting and extrusion processes as a result of the Maillard reaction or Acrolein pathway .
Scientists have started a big effort to reduce formation of acrylamide in foods; therefore they try to find material or method that reduces the concentration of acrylamide in fried foods. In this way, some studies focused on the effects of medicinal plants on formation of acrylamide.

Corrected


    Acrilamide is a synthetic compound that is used especially as a polymer precursor (polyacrylamide). For example, it used in wastewater treatment, paper and packaging industries. For the first time, in April 2002, acrylamide was reported in carbohydrate-rich fried foods such as potato chips, french-fries, biscuits, bread and coffee by the Swedish
    National Food Administration and University of Stockholm. The presence of acrylamide in the human diet is a potential risk as a neurotoxic and carcinogenic agent.
    Many traditional and industrial diets have precursors of acrylamide such as free asparagine and reducing sugars, that form acrylamide during the preparation and processing of food in frying, baking, roasting and extrusion processes as a result of the Maillard reaction or Acrolein pathway.
    Scientists have started a big effort to reduce the formation of acrylamide in foods; therefore they try to find materials or methods that reduces the concentration of acrylamide in fried foods. In this way, some studies focus on the effects of medicinal plants on the formation of acrylamide.



Original


Parsley, coriander and dill are three edible vegetables that widely use in the world as flavoring agent in food products, perfume and cosmetic industries as well as pharmaceutical industries.
Phytochemical investigation of them was revealed the presence of the essential oil and some phenolic compounds such as flavonoids and phenolics. 
These plants have been used as traditional medicines to soothe various digestive complaints, such as indigestion, flatulence and loss of appetite.
The researches have shown that Parsley has hepatoprotective, anti-inflammatory and diuretic effects.
Similarly, pharmacological studies of coriander have revealed antibacterial, anti-hyperglycemic, anti-hyperlipidemic effects and gastric mucosal protection.
Dill is a potential herb as hyperlipidemia treatment; also it has anti-microbial, anti-hyperlipidemia, antioxidant, and mucosal protective and anti-secretory effects of the gastric mucosa in mice.
So, it is recommended that people use these plants as daily edible vegetables to boost their health.

Corrected


    Parsley, coriander and dill are three edible vegetables that are widely used in the world as a flavoring agent in food products, perfume and cosmetic industries as well as pharmaceutical industries.
    Phytochemical investigation of them revealed the presence of the essential oil and some phenolic compounds such as flavonoids and phenolics. These plants have been used as traditional medicines to soothe various digestive complaints, such as indigestion, flatulence and loss of appetite. The research has shown that parsley has hepatoprotective, anti-inflammatory and diuretic effects.
    Similarly, pharmacological studies of coriander have revealed antibacterial, anti-hyperglycemic, anti-hyperlipidemic effects and gastric mucosal protection.
    Dill is a potential hyperlipidemia treatment as an herb; also, it has anti-microbial, anti-hyperlipidemia, antioxidant, and mucosal protective and anti-secretory effects of the gastric mucosa in mice.
    So, it is recommended that people use these plants as daily edible vegetables to boost their health.



Original


Cardaria is an edible herb traditionally used as medical care of liver-spleen disorders, effective in the treatment of insect bites, fat and blood sugar.
It widely spreads in cold regions especially in northern hemisphere. The extract of aerial parts of C. has been reported to have anti hypertensive property, anti inflammatory in respiratory system, expectorant, diuretic, anti scorbutic and cooling drinks for fever.
Phytochemical investigation of cardaria genius showed that its Species (about 175 Species) contain glucoraphanin, glucosinalbin, flavonoids(kea mpfrol, quercetin glycosides), isorhamnetin, isothiocyanates, sulforphane.
This plant has some goiterogenic agents. So considering that above writing, it suggest that the use of this plants as vegetables must be with precaution because of its medicinal effects.

Corrected


Cardaria is an edible herb traditionally used as medical care for liver-spleen disorders, effective in the treatment of insect bites, fat and blood sugar.
It widely spreads in cold regions especially in the northern hemisphere. The extract of aerial parts of C. has been reported to have anti-hypertensive property, anti-inflammatory in the respiratory system, expectorant, diuretic, anti-scorbutic and cooling drinks for fever.
Phytochemical investigation of cardaria genes showed that its species (about 175 species) contain glucoraphanin, glucosinalbin, flavonoids(kea mpfrol, quercetin glycosides), isorhamnetin, isothiocyanates, and sulforphane.
This plant has some goiterogenic agents. So considering the above writing, it suggests that the use of these plants as vegetables must be with precaution because of their medicinal effects.



Original


The first electric cars were produced in the late 19th century to solve the problem of air pollution in London. Mass production of cheaper gasoline vehicles led to a decline in the use of electric vehicles in the 20th century.
In the 21st century concerns about increasing oil prices and the reduce greenhouse gas emissions gave advantages to the electric vehicles. According to the manufacturer, electric cars contribute to cleaner air. However some researchers found that electric cars don't protect environment completely. Since battery packs are heavy, manufacturers work to lighten the rest of the vehicle.
As a result, electric car components contain lightweight materials that require a lot of energy to produce and process, such as aluminium. Furthermore, the local population may be exposed to toxic substances through air and ground water contamination and mineral exploitation can ever further extend risks.

Corrected


The first electric cars were produced in the late 19th century to solve the problem of air pollution in London. Mass production of vehicles which use cheaper gasoline led to a decline in the use of electric vehicles in the 20th century.
In the 21st century, concerns about increasing oil prices and the reduced greenhouse gas emissions gave advantages to the electric vehicles. According to the manufacturer, electric cars contribute to cleaner air. However some researchers found that electric cars don't protect the environment completely. Since battery packs are heavy, manufacturers work to lighten the rest of the vehicle.
As a result, electric car components contain lightweight materials that require a lot of energy to produce and process, such as aluminum. Furthermore, the local population may be exposed to toxic substances through air and ground water contamination and mineral exploitation can ever further extend risks.



Original


Last year, most cities in Turkey had protesters against the president of Turkey. Initially, demonstrators got together to protest the urban development plan for Istanbul's Taksim Gezi Park. The park was attacked with tear gas and water cannons by police. The subject of the protests then broadened beyond the development into wider anti government demonstration. The protests also spread to other cities in Turkey. Protesters were more than students and intellectuals. They were described as secular, religious, young, old, soccer hooligans,communist, nationalist, gays, and feminist and all were taking to the streets to register their displeasure. 
The causes of action were authoritarianism of Turkey's prime minister, violation of democratic rights, media censorship and disinformation, use of excessive force by police, corruption among government officials, internet censorship, alcohol restrictions etc.
Unfortunately, excessive use of force by police caused deaths, more than eighty people severely injured, many innocent protesters arrested, and people were beaten to death.

Corrected


     Last year, most cities in Turkey had protesters against the president of Turkey. Initially, demonstrators got together to protest the urban development plan for Istanbul's Taksim Gezi Park. The park was attacked with tear gas and water cannons by police. The subject of the protests then broadened beyond the development into wider anti government demonstrations. The protests also spread to other cities in Turkey. Protesters were more than students and intellectuals. They were described as secular, religious, young, old, soccer hooligans, communists, nationalists, gays, and feminist and all were taking to the streets to register their displeasure. 
     The causes of action were authoritarianism of Turkey's prime minister, violation of democratic rights, media censorship and disinformation, use of excessive force by police, corruption among government officials, internet censorship, and alcohol restrictions.
Unfortunately, excessive use of force by police caused deaths, more than eighty people were severely injured, many innocent protesters were arrested, and people were beaten to death.



Original


My name is Lisa and I am from Taiwan. I immigrated to the U.S. about 30 some years ago after my husband had received his master’s degree in computer science at Georgia Tech in Atlanta. We moved to Washington D.C. after my husband had landed his first job after his graduation. We have lived in a suburban area in Maryland since then.

I have worked as export/import licensing officer in a federal government agency for about 15 years and have always felt worried about my insufficient English ability when performing my jobs. I spend a great deal of time on learning English every day, including listening to the radio and reading news online, but the improvement is very slow.

I happened to see this website today, and would like to try if this is a good opportunity for me to improve my English.

Corrected


My name is Lisa and I am from Taiwan. I immigrated to the U.S. about 30 some years ago after my husband had received his master’s degree in computer science at Georgia Tech in Atlanta. We moved to Washington D.C. after my husband had landed his first job after his graduation. We have lived in a suburban area in Maryland since then.

I have worked as an export/import licensing officer in a federal government agency for about 15 years and have always felt worried about my insufficient English ability when performing my job. I spend a great deal of time on learning English every day, including listening to the radio and reading news online, but my improvement is very slow.

I happened to see this website today, and would like to see if this is a good opportunity for me to improve my English.



Original


We moved from Atlanta to Maryland when my husband landed his first job after he had graduated from Georgia Tech in Atlanta. We rented a one-bed room apartment for the first two years of living in Maryland. I was not working when we first moved to Maryland because I did not have a green card, a permanent resident card that allows an alien to work in the U.S. legally. One day I received a phone call from a sales representative who was working for a housing builder. He told me that they had some newly built single houses for sale for a very low price. I took the phone conversation seriously, discussed with my husband, and started considering the feasibility of owning a house. Eventually we purchased our first house in the U.S. with a small down payment which I had saved for five years when I was in Taiwan. 

The brand new house was so bright with lots of windows. Because it was newly built there was no any furniture in the house, except a refrigerator and washer and dryer. The first thing we did after we moved in was installing curtains, as it was a one floor house, and anyone could see through the windows. 

We enjoyed the new house for seven years and moved to a much more expensive old house eight miles away (apart?). We have lived in the second house since then.

Corrected


We moved from Atlanta to Maryland when my husband landed his first job after he had graduated from Georgia Tech in Atlanta. We rented a one-bedroom apartment for the first two years of living in Maryland. I was not working when we first moved to Maryland because I did not have a green card, a permanent resident card that allows a foreigner to work in the U.S. legally. One day, I received a phone call from a sales representative who was working for a housing builder. He told me that they had some newly built, single houses for sale for a very low price. I took the phone conversation seriously, discussed with my husband, and started considering the feasibility of owning a house. Eventually, we purchased our first house in the U.S. with a small down payment, which I had saved for five years when I was in Taiwan. 

The brand new house was so bright with lots of windows. Because it was newly built, there was not any furniture in the house, except a refrigerator and washer and dryer. The first thing we did after we moved in was install curtains, as it was a one- floor house, and anyone could see through the windows. 

We enjoyed the new house for seven years and moved to a much more expensive, old house eight miles away (apart?). We have lived in the second house since then.



Original


How to be financially responsibly

My father passed away in his early 30s, when I was only six years old. His pass left my mother, also in her early 30s at the time, with six of us, and pregnant with my youngest brother.

In those days in Asia, women stayed home raising kids, and men were solo bread winners. I was too small to remember how my mother went through the difficult time, but eventually she was remarried.

My step father was a very nice man, and he ran a grocery store for living. My mother, along with my youngest brother, moved in with my step father after they were married. The rest of us lived separately, but lived on expenses provide by my step farther. My step father was very generous and later supported me to attend a college. It was during my college years when I first learnt that I needed to make my own money, lots of money. 

I came to the U.S. with my husband in the early eighties, and have worked very hard in order to get financially settled. We were able to buy our first house in our early thirties, and earn a profit of 70,000 seven years later when we sold the house. Immediately, we moved up to a high-end house by using the profit as a down payment. I have worked for many years and have maximized my contributions toward the company's retirement plan. Today, I am very comfortable financially because of my hard work and my frugal living life.

Corrected


How to be financially responsible:

My father passed away in his early 30s when I was only six years old. His pass left my mother, also in her early 30s at the time, with six of us, and pregnant with my youngest brother.

In those days in Asia, women stayed home raising kids, and men were solo bread winners. I was too small to remember how my mother went through the difficult time, but eventually she was remarried.

My stepfather was a very nice man, and he ran a grocery store for a living. My mother, along with my youngest brother, moved in with my stepfather after they were married. The rest of us lived separately, but lived on expenses provided by my stepfather. My stepfather was very generous and later supported me to attend a college. It was during my college years when I first learnt that I needed to make my own money, lots of money. 

I came to the U.S. with my husband in the early eighties, and have worked very hard in order to get financially settled. We were able to buy our first house in our early thirties, and earn a profit of $70,000 seven years later when we sold the house. Immediately, we moved up to a high-end house by using the profit as a down payment. I have worked for many years and have maximized my contributions toward the company's retirement plan. Today, I am very comfortable financially because of my hard work and my frugal lifestyle.



Original


We purchased our first house in Gaithersburg, Maryland when my husband landed his first job after he had graduated from Georgia Tech in Atlanta. There was no furniture came with the house except a refrigerator since it was a brand new house. It had four bed rooms, one and a half bath, and lots of window. 

We were so excited about the house, our first house in the United States. We spent a lot of time decorating the house, including ordering the window curtains from Taiwan, and shopping for the furniture from local furniture stores. What I liked most about the house was the brightness. Although it was colonial style, the house had lots of sun coming in through the windows. We never needed to turn on the lights during the day because every corner of the house was bright. The only defect of the house was that there was no basement, which was very unusual for colonial style houses in DC area. However, we could not have afforded a house with a basement at the time. 

Luckily, the housing market was booming in those days. We were able to sell the house five years later and made a good margin of profit. We immediately used the profit as down payment for our second house in Rockville, Maryland.

Corrected


We purchased our first house in Gaithersburg, Maryland when my husband landed his first job after he had graduated from Georgia Tech in Atlanta. There was no furniture that came with the house except a refrigerator since it was a brand new house. It had four bedrooms, one and a half baths, and lots of window. 

We were so excited about the house, our first house in the United States. We spent a lot of time decorating the house, including ordering the curtains from Taiwan, and shopping for the furniture from local furniture stores. What I liked most about the house was the brightness. Although it was colonial style, the house had lots of sun coming in through the windows. We never needed to turn on the lights during the day because every corner of the house was bright. The only defect of the house was that there was no basement, which was very unusual for colonial style houses in the DC area. However, we could not have afforded a house with a basement at the time. 

Luckily, the housing market was booming in those days. We were able to sell the house five years later and made a good margin of profit. We immediately used the profit as down payment for our second house in Rockville, Maryland.